Page 32 of Little Dove

Taking a deep breath, I walk to the door, open it, and step out. Lazaro is still standing there, shirtless and dressed only in his dirty dress pants, his phone to his ear.

I’m momentarily stunned, unable to look away from him. His muscles bunch and flex as he shifts, and his skin looks so smooth, my fingers itch to reach out and touch it. His waist is narrow, his shoulders so broad, and his entire back is covered by a tattoo of a skull, its mouth open as if to swallow me whole. It should frighten me, but instead, I want to get closer to inspectit. Why did he pick it? His arms are covered in tattoos too, but they’re a mix of a lot of things, so I can’t quite make them all out.

Suddenly, he turns, and I get the front view too, and I have to hold back a whimper. Damn it, this man should not look this good. Just like I thought, he doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him. He somehow looks broader now that he’s facing me, though I’m sure that’s a trick of the eye. A woman’s name decorates the left side of his chest, along with an image of a mother holding a child.Verona.Is that his mother? Almost all of him is covered in tattoos, with very little free space to be seen.

What the hell are you talking about, Amara? Get a fucking grip and remember why you’re mad.

Oh, right. I force myself to meet his eyes and find him watching me, his lips quirked up in amusement, even as he says, “Alessio, I’ll see you in the morning. Go back to sexing up your woman.” Then he hangs up and says in that same silky tone he used on me in the bunker, “See something you like,colombina? If you want to touch, I won’t stop you.”

11

LAZARO

It’slike a switch flips as soon as the words leave my mouth. Her eyes go from heated to ice cold, and the shocked look on her face shutters to one of fury. She looks like she’s ready to murder me, though it’s a little hard to take her seriously in those pajamas she’s wearing. I know she chose them purposely, but she looks so fucking adorable in them, and I want to reach out and grab her and cuddle her close to me. Then slowly peel them off her, unwrapping every inch of her skin.

“I want my own room,” she says sharply.

“Sorry, they’re all full,” I lie easily.

“You expect me to believe that every other room in this gigantic house is full?” she sneers.

“As far as you’re concerned, they are. You’re not sleeping away from me, Amara. You might as well get used to it.”

“I already told you that we’re not going to be anything,” she explodes, her voice rising to a yell. “What’s worse, is you had this all planned out. What, as soon as you found out about me, youcalled dibs and came to get me? Is that why there are clothes in the closet still with tags on them? Or why you kept getting pissy with your brother in the car? I might not speak Italian, but tone says everything and it’s pretty obvious you were telling him to stay out of your way.”

“No, that’s not how it went.” Though now that she’s laid that all out for me, I can see why she might think that. Shit, I’ve screwed this up. “I asked for those clothes to be picked up for you while we were on the plane, when you were hanging out with Rori in the bedroom. They’ve only been in there for maybe six hours. Did I ask for them to be put in there? Yes. Because I want you with me, Amara. I don’t want you on the other side of the fucking house, worrying that you’re freaking the hell out, or that someone might get into the house and get to you before I can. And we are going to be more thansomething, Amara. You and I, we’re going to beeverything. You just need to catch up.”

“What you need to do is open those ears of yours and actually listen to what I’m telling you. You have a lot of nerve saying any of that, considering what happened on the plane.”

Huh? Now I’m confused. “I apologized for snapping at you on the plane, Amara. What more do you want?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” she snaps. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice that the stewardess looked freshly fucked? And you dare to stand here and act like I should be so happy that you’re giving me attention again? That you want me so much, you’re willing to move on from her so quickly?”

Fucking Camilla. I never should have fucked around with her, but she was an easy lay, and up until now I’ve had no reason to refuse her. Clearly that was a fucking mistake. “Nothing happened with her,” I tell Amara firmly. “She fucked around with one of the soliders. She only came back when we landed and said she was there to clean up. Nothing more.”

She definitely doesn’t believe me. “It doesn’t matter,” Amara says flippantly. “None of it changes the fact that there’s not going to be anything romantic between us. If you want to be friends, fine, maybe we can manage that, but that’s it. I don’t want a relationship, not with you or anyone else. I’m not going to pretend to be in one to make you feel better, either. I want my own room. You need to get back to work and stop worrying about me or anything to do with me. I’m not your responsibility anymore now that I’m here, right?”

“Friends?” I repeat, unable to keep the sneer out of my voice. “Amara, I don’t want to befriendswith you. I’ll never be able to accept that, and watch you be with another man. That’s the fastest way for him to end up dead.”

“Can you not hear me from all the way up there?” she shouts. “I don’t want anyone else! There aren’t going to be any other men, because there aren’t going to be any.Ever. No one is going to die because you’re jealous.”

“I can hear you just fine,” I snap back, exasperated. “And you can’t see the future, Amara. Eventually you might?—”

“No, I fucking won’t,” she hisses. “Do not even begin to tell me what I will or won’t do, Lazaro. There are no men, or women, in my future. I’ve been through too fucking much to even consider it a possibility. So if that’s why you won’t let this go, then you can rest easy.”

“Does this have something to do with that fucker who was being rough with you in your salon?” I ask, everything inside me going ice cold. “And that business with the broken marriage, and someone saying that you slept with a father and his son?”

“What does it matter? It should be enough that I’m saying no!”

“Because it has clearly affected you and?—”

“You fucking idiot,” she screams, advancing on me with a look of such utter rage and pain that I almost back up a step. “Ofcourse, it’s fucking affected me. I was sexually abused by every single foster home I was in from the ages of ten to sixteen. I’ve been subjected to hatred and abuse every year since because I finally spoke up and put a few of them in prison. No is supposed to mean no, goddammit, and I’m saying no, but you stand there and act like I’m just being difficult? Take it as a personal insult that I don’t want to be anything to you? Fuck you, Lazaro. Fuck you.” Tears stream down her reddened face as she spins on her heel and stalks toward the bathroom door.

I wrap my arms around her before she can reach it, turning her toward me as she tries to fight me. Her fists hit my chest as she thrashes wildly, her knees coming perilously close to my balls. I manage to block those, gripping her wrists in my hands and hauling her up into me, holding her tight. Her sobs shatter something inside me, pain and guilt almost too much to bear. She hits my chest a couple more times before she finally sags into me, her face buried against my neck and her body shaking as she cries.

“I’m sorry, Amara. I’m so fucking sorry,” I murmur, gutted that I’ve brought this pain back to her. I’m a fucking idiot. Such a fucking idiot. I’ve been too focused on what I want, what I need from her, to think about what she’s been through. What she’s suffered. No wonder she’s been fighting me so fucking hard this entire time. I’m ready to kick my own ass, but all I can do is keep repeating the same words over and over again, rocking her and trying to make it better.

It sends me back to a time when I had to do the same thing with Sofia, though she saved herself before anything terrible happened. The guilt and fury I felt for not knowing or noticing. But this is Amara, and she’s just as strong as Sofia. Hell, stronger if you consider she didn’t have anyone to help her, had no one to comfort her. I’m here now, though. She’ll never have to handle this alone again. Ever.

---