Page 19 of Such a Delicious Omega

The drive home was a blur of emotion and tears. Samuel said nothing. He held my hand. Rubbed my back and my thigh, but the silence was all I needed. Once we got back to his place, he came around the front and pulled me out of the car, even unbuckling my seat belt.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, or tried to, through the sobs as he unlocked the electric dead bolt and let us in.

“There’s no need for you to apologize, mate. That often happens, especially with a first spanking.”

“It wasn’t the first.” I stopped as he scooped me up with one hand under my knees and another around my back. He set me on the sofa gently.

“No, but it was the first real one.”

I put my hand up and pulled him down to sit on the couch beside me. “Please. Sit with me. There’s something I need to explain to you.”

He sat down next to me, and I almost began crying again, the emotions so close to the surface. “I don’t really know what happened tonight, but, some things from my past flooded back.”

“What things? Can you tell me?”

We held each other for a moment. I knew I would have to tell him, but it never was the right time to crack open your chest and spill your guts. Sometimes when I told the story, it seemed so silly. I almost drowned. I didn’t. It was one time. The entire ordeal lasted less than twenty minutes.

But none of that self-loathing talk took away the panic attacks—only running did that. The thing was, now that I had Samuel, I didn’t want to run anymore.

And that scared me the most.

“A few years ago, I was in an accident. I was sailing with my friend. He had a boat, and we thought the weather was fine. Kendall and I had both checked it. He said he knew what he was doing. He was the owner of the boat, after all.”

“A boyfriend?” Samuel asked, and I was surprised the question wasn’t coupled with a growl. He was an alpha. Alphas were possessive over their mates. From Samuel, I didn’t mind.

“No. Just a friend. We stayed out later than planned and, before we knew it, the sun had set and we were only halfway back. The water got choppy. The waves were nonexistent during the day and then, out of nowhere, they were splashing over the rails. I held on as tight as I could, helping Kendall, but…”

I paused, stricken with the same fear I felt that night.

“Take your time, Echo. I can feel your fear and your pain through the bond. I know this isn’t easy.”

“It’s not, but I want you to know.”

I took a few long, deep breaths as Samuel pushed comfort and love into the bond. His calm washed over me time and time again until I let myself submit to it. “I fell overboard. Hit my head on a buoy. The water was so cold and dark, I couldn’t see anything but the moon up above as blackness took over.”

“How long were you under?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I was maybe ten feet down by the time the adrenaline hit me and I swam to the surface. Kendall was yelling for me, and he pulled me back onto the boat. I’ve been running from that pain, that night, ever since.”

Samuel sat up. Something had clicked. “The bucket list?”

I nodded. “The bucket list. Those things took up my time and gave me something to run toward for a long time. Until the club.”

“And me.”

I nodded and swiped my face of the last of my tears. The weight was lifted. My mate knew about my trauma, no matterhow small it was compared to other things people had gone through.

But the truth was, I could’ve died that night.

And I would never take life for granted again.

“How does that relate to tonight? Did your spanking bring up some pain?”

I shrugged. “You didn’t hurt me—well, not more than I wanted you to. There was something about being there. So raw and open—my pain visible. I don’t know. That last strike, it opened a dam inside me. All my emotions came flooding to the surface when I’d successfully pushed them down for so long.”

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you went through such a traumatic experience.”

“I’ve been holding onto it for so long. I needed to share it with you and now…now I think I can let it go.”

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