Page 42 of Alfie: Part Two

I felt my mouth twitch. “Well. If we forget the absurd sponsorships these mountaineers get many times, picture that mountain. Thousands and thousands of people have reached the top of Mount Everest, and you only get recognition and accolades for that last trek to the summit. That’s where I’m flown in on a helicopter, to take on that last section, whereas Alfie had to start at the bottom. So he’s already exhausted by the time he reaches the last camp.”

She mulled that over while she ate her cannoli, and just when I thought she was about to reply, she shook her head and took a sip of her coffee instead.

I took a bite too and hoped for the best.

Fuck, delicious as always.

Alfie, you’re the love of my life, but there is a possibility none of these cannoli will make it to you.

“For the record, this is not my excusing anyone or anything,” I felt the need to add. “It’s only my opinion on why more people from the working class will be disillusioned with the system that’s supposed to assist them in getting somewhere. Alfie and I don’t have the same upbringing. He saw injustices and unfairness where I was sheltered. The structure that maintains our society, as well as the authorities that enforce our laws, aren’t the good guys in his book. And once those lines are blurred, black-and-white morphs into gray.”

“Hm.” She nodded slowly. “You do sound like my husband.”

“What’re his thoughts on the whole thing?”

She huffed again and set down her cup. “Like he cares? He grew up around the Sons too. He saw them help old ladies cross the street, while the government just collected taxes and never gave anything back.” She looked down at her lap and sighed. “It is our duty to be better than that, West. I don’t care how many old ladies the Sons of Munster help. They still murder and steal and put drugs on our streets. How can I ever accept that my son is a part of that?”

Yeah, what the fuck could I say in response?

I could sit here all day and speak, with conviction, about injustice and unfairness, but in the end, in that final decision to either break the law or follow it, Alfie had chosen wrong. I could claim that and still love him, still stand by his side, and still understand.

Maybe that was my route with Giulia.

“I want you to know that I don’t believe what he’s doing is right,” I said.

She peered up at me.

“For me, it’s…” I sighed. “My love for him weakened my principles. I understand the circumstances that brought him—and us—to how things are today, which I suppose makes me more malleable in the situation. And that will have to be enough. Itisenough. Enough for me to accept the status quo, to move on with him, and to share my life with him.”

She exhaled and looked out over the nearest soccer field.

I finished my cannoli and brushed some powdered sugar off my hands.

“He did offer to get out too,” I added. “He was willing to throw away a part of himself in order for us to find a way, and it was one of the things that sealed the deal for me.”

“If he offered to put you first?—”

“Then I did the same for him, naturally,” I replied pointedly. “I don’t want him to be someone else, Giulia. I want him just ashe is, and…of course I must accept the things that make up that man. It’s what shapes him.”

She frowned and looked me up and down. “Then something is wrong with you too,tesoro.”

I exhaled a laugh.

You mean I’m sufficiently fucked in the head?

“Yeah, possibly.” I grinned to myself and picked up another cannoli. “I choose to trust Alfie when he says he still has his morals—and maybe he bends the truth a little, but we both know that man. He’s a sweetheart. A wonderful dad, a loving?—”

“That is why this pains me so much.Cazzo, I—” A burst of anger and hurt was unleashed, and she sat forward and gripped the edge of the bench. “He’s my sweet baby—and he’s hanging with those…thosemonsters.”

I winced, immediately thinking of a book I’d recently read about German soldiers during the war. How they could commit such heinous crimes, where most of them weren’t even forced. They just did it. They followed orders with the option of opting out. But that was a longer discussion, and war was more about dehumanizing the enemy. Alfie hadn’t been to war.

Nevertheless… “That’s a simplification that actually makes it even harder for you to come to terms with things. Alfie is not an innocent baby, and the men I’ve met in the Sons of Munster aren’t monsters.” I paused when she threw me an annoyed look. “I understand you want to view him as your sweet baby boy, Giulia, but he wasn’t tricked into that life. He chose it, and much of it was because he has so much in common with them. He’s said it made him feel like coming home.” I lifted my brows a pinch. “That’s not something a sweet baby tells a monster.”

“Wolves in sheep’s clothing,” she spat.

I scratched my eyebrow.

There aren’t enough cannoli for this.

---