Page 20 of Unlearning

"I like that answer, thank you for your honesty. Considering that one realisticallycandie at any moment, would it not make sense to live like that now? Why worry about a future that's not guaranteed?"

I didn't know how to answer that, so I said nothing.

After I finished my dessert, he reached over to wipe off a bit of chocolate cream from the corner of my mouth, then sucked the finger. I felt the sucking motion on my clit somehow, and he knew it, judging from his heavy lids and seductive gaze.

"Let's do the rest of the questions on our walk back," he offered.

I took his outstretched hand and we headed home.

CHAPTER 14

We slowly made our way back to the apartment, our arms brushing against each other every now and then until James hooked our pinky fingers together like he had done the night of the rescue.

Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

James thought for a moment, then spoke: “I like your determination. It shows in everything you do, even it in the face you make right before you spar with someone: your jaw is set firmly, chin held high, there’s a slight frown between your brows, and your eyes are focused on your target. You have that same look in meetings, when you talk about your goals, and when we are working on a project. I admire and value people who know what they want and go for it. You feel like a tropical storm, like you're going to steamroll and remove every obstacle in your path. It's very... attractive.”

I gave him a mildly incredulous look.

“I like it, sue me,” he shrugged. “I am also absolutely crazy about your breasts.”

I unexpectedly stumbled at the revelation and he had to grab my upper arm so I wouldn’t kiss the concrete, and then we just stood there.

“The question said to be honest, and I am. I love them. I love how they sway, how your nipples poke at your shirt when it's cold out, how they felt pressed against me before we went out,” he had a dreamy look on his face as he remembered it. “My least favorite version of them is when they're squished inside a sports bra, but I understand why it's necessary.”

Had the man gone insane? How had I not noticed him analyzing them in such detail? I was by no means oblivious to the male gaze, so he had to have been really careful about it. What else hadn’t I noticed about James?

“Your turn,” he said, planting a kiss on my hand and resuming our walk.

"Well," I said carefully, still hung up on the boob-thing. "I value steadfastness and courage, and you've shown plenty of both since I've met you. And I don't mean courage where you go and fight a bear, though that is attractive in its own way as well, especially for our kind. I mean having the guts to directly tell your team an unpopular decision when it could have been an email, or setting boundaries with all those females even though you could have a different one every week," I looked at him and found him smiling. "I admire you for fighting with the higher-ups in the Parks Department to prevent them from cutting your workers' benefits. Stuff like that. You’re not afraid of making difficult decisions, even when they inconvenience you. You're a good boss, and a good alpha."

"And what aboutmyboobs?"

I burst out laughing. "You're crazy," I couldn’t stop, I kept laughing and laughing and he joined in as well. His head was thrown back and his laugh so free, so beautiful that I couldn’t stop looking at him. We were almost at our building now.

"What's the next one?"

Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

"Well, that's it for the laughter, huh? Where did you even find these?"

"The internet," he shrugged. "So?"

"I want to preface this by saying that this is a very morbid discussion that should not be had on a date, alright? That being said, probably my sister's pups? They're so small, you know, so full of potential. God forbid, this is awful, please let's move on," I said, unlocking the apartment door.

"We have one question left and then we have to look into each other's eyes for 4 minutes."

"Are you for real?"

"Hey, I don't make the rules. We don't have to do it if you don't want to."

"No, it's fine, it's just a bit weird to bejuststaring at each other non stop for 4 whole minutes. Let me get some slippers and meet me on the couch, yeah?"

James slowly read the last question of the evening out loud and immediately started answering it.

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

"I would regret not telling my family how much I appreciated them being there for me when everything went to shit when I was 18. I just left for college and never really came back to them. Now I don't know how to get back to that place of closeness again, and I realize that this is something I should work on while we're all still around.

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