Page 9 of Unlearning

Two weeks later, I was flying across California for my interview with the California Department of Parks and Recreation and theNational Parks Service, so I kept nervously going over my notes, calming my breathing, telling myself that it would not be the worst thing in the world to lose this amazing opportunity that was everything I'd ever dreamed of. If living among humans had taught me anything, it was that I couldn't handle living among humans for longer periods of time. Maybe it was my upbringing, maybe it was my nature, I had no idea. College was an overall fun experience for me, but the synthetic smells, breathing in the pollution caused by traffic, so much concrete and so little greenery - all of that was difficult to bear as a shifter. If I had to continue living like that, spending 8 hours in an office every day, smelling toner and being choked by my coworker's shampoos and perfumes, while trying to remember not to use my claws to remove staples?! I'd go insane, probably. That was why I had to give my all to this interview, and I did.

It was an amazing interview, it was even fun – talking to people who had the same passion and vision as you was something one rarely got the opportunity to do so I stayed even longer than necessary just talking to the two wonderful women who’d interviewed me. After getting the green light from the Parks Department, I still had one more round of interviews left, this time with the Redwood Parks management, meaning James and his team. I was excited because they scheduled the interview in the actual Park! I'd never visited Redwood before and I was in awe just from the little piece that I'd managed to see on my way to the park headquarters.

The nice middle-aged she-wolf at the reception said: “The Alpha's expecting you,” and showed me to James' office.

Shit, they reallywerea pack. I quickly mentally went over our previous brief interaction to make sure I hadn't come across as disrespectful somehow, and luckily I hadn't. At least I thought I hadn't. Argh! No time to overthink! I knocked and, once he said “Come in”, made my way inside.

“Hello, Alpha James”, I said too quietly and, even to my ears, I sounded like a kid sucking up to a teacher at school. He laughed, shaking his head: “I see Bethany couldn't help herself. Please, call me James. If you insist on being formal, Mr. Woodward will do. This “Alpha” business is something wolves can’t let go of, as I am running operations here and that automatically screams “Alpha” to them. I, however, don't really see it that way, but also don't have the energy to discourage it, especially with older wolves. Anyways, welcome to Redwood, Samantha.”

“Thank you for the opportunity sir, I am so excited to be here. The Parks are even more beautiful in person, and it would be an honor to work here.”

I was really excited, in case you couldn't tell.

“I know that my colleagues from the Parks Department and the NPS did their due diligence while interviewing you, so I'll just ask one question – why do you want to work here, as a she-wolf?” he asked and leaned forward with his forearms on his desk, those green eyes fixed on mine, listening intently.

I thought for a moment, and then told him: “There isn't much untouched nature left for us anymore, not a lot of spaces where we can live the way we need to or be who we are, and I want to be part of the team that is protecting and taking care of those spaces. I also had a period during which,” here I needed to look away from those understanding eyes, “I spent a lot of time roaming the forest as a wolf, and I truly became one with nature then. It never left me, the sense of being connected to all living things, all of us coming from the same divine source. After that, I left for college and that cemented my decision of needing to be in nature as much as possible,” I laughed and he quickly caught on.

“The exhaust fumes?” he guessed.

I nodded and, wrinkling my nose, added: “And the perfumes.”

His eyes twinkled with amusement as he smiled at me.

“Well, that's what I like to hear. Let's fill out your paperwork then.”

I was stunned. I wasn't sure if I was hearing him correctly.

“Wait, that's it? I get the job, just like that?”

“Do youwantme to ask you more questions, Samantha?” he looked like he was trying not to smile.

“No! I'm just... positively surprised. Happy even. Thank you,” I was wringing my hands in my lap, trying not to hop up and down in my chair while James was filling out some forms on his computer.

“Okay, I see Bethany has done most of this already, DOB, previous packs, okay, okay, I just need to know when you normally go into your yearly heat and your mating status information.”

That froze me in my tracks. I felt my fingers get cold and my insides started cramping uncomfortably. I cleared my throat, not trusting the lump in it: “Why is that necessary?” I asked coldly.

James must have sensed the change in my demeanor, because he looked up from the screen, and in a patient voice explained: “I need to know about your heat so I can immediately pencil you in for time off, or provide you with a heat-proof cabin if you don't want to travel back to your pack. As for the mating status, it's kind of an administrative issue – if a wolf is unmated, we make their contract a temporary one, seasonal or term, because they might find their mate at any point, and they are likely to leave with them unless the mate is qualified and willing to live and work here. On the other hand, mated wolves generally get permanent contracts, they need bigger housing, more majorholidays off to spend with family, in case of pups they need insurance for them as well...” he trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

I summoned all my courage, while at the same time completely detaching myself from my emotional center, focused on a painting of a lake on the wall behind James because I didn't want to be looked at withpityduring my job interview, and quietly said: “I go into heat around Thanksgiving.” Heat was brutally painful, and it got so much worse after finding your mate. Your body was basically trying to blackmail you into procreating, with the help of severe and repetitive pain. I remember crying and howling during my first heat after meeting my so-called mate, feeling abandoned and alone, let down by the male who was supposed to take care of me during those moments, the one who could take the pain away, if he wanted to. Not even the super-painkillers made specifically for shifters that my sister provided had helped. I cleared my throat and continued:

“As for my mating status, I'm afraid none of the two options apply to me. I’m not sure how to answer. Ihavemet my mate 4 years ago, but he had a pregnant human fiancée he was still being intimate with, so I left him and my pack and came to live in your brother's pack. It's not a topic I like to revisit, I'm sure you understand. You can write in whatever you want and give me any type of contract you see fit.”

I couldn't see him, but I could feel the tension radiating off of him. When I dared tear my gaze away from the painting, James was looking down at his desk, lost in thought.

“I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I just went through the forms automatically. It wasn't my intention to,”

“Can we change the subject please?” I cut him off. I even mustered up a small smile, but he shook his head sadly and was about to say something before someone knocked on the door and a young man's head appeared.

“Alpha, is this her?” the newcomer said with a big smile. He smelled like green apples, and I filed the info away.

“Please, do come in, Carter,” James smiled back at him. “This is head ranger Carter Falk, also known as Beta Carter to Bethany and others.”

Carter playfully rolled his eyes and shook my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Samantha. Welcome to Redwood Pack, I mean Parks,” he joked. I immediately knew Carter would be really fun to be around, another plus for my already amazing new workplace. “Is she done here, boss?”

“She only needs to sign these,” James said as he handed me several sheets of contracts and other documents that he had printed out in the meantime. I blindly signed them all as fast as Icould, I just wanted to officially become part of this magnificent place already.

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