Page 3 of Unlearning

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On Monday, I knocked on the door of the Luna's office.

“Hello Luna Melanie, could I have a moment?”

“Hi Samantha, dear, please, come in. How may I help you?” the kind woman smiled at me.

“Well, you know that last week I found out that Brandon Lane was my mate, and then he had to go to Chicago for a month to finish up the last of his exams,” I said, and she nodded at me. Now came the tricky part: “Well, I was talking to Alaina about how I was missing him and she suggested that I make the trip to Chicago to surprise him.”

I smiled sweetly, just like I'd practiced at home.

“That is a wonderful idea, dear!” the Luna clapped her hands, enthusiastically cheering for young love. If only she knew.

“Could you give me the address in Chicago you have on file for him for pack correspondence? That way it can truly be a surprise,” and here I even hopped a little, the true image of a young excited enamored female. On the inside, I felt like a shriveled apple. Brandon only texted me three times since he left, all genericI hope you're having a good daytexts. My wolf was pacing between depressed and murderous; she was driving me insane.

“Of course, honey, I'll just look it up here on the computer... whop, here it is. It hasn't changed for the last three years, so I'm guessing it's still current.”

She printed the address for me and we cheerfully said our goodbyes. I told my parents I'd be driving to visit Alaina this week – I didn’t want to involve them in my suspicions unless they turned out to be true. My father was the head enforcer for the pack, he would be breaking bones first and asking questions later. And my mother would never be able to forget that Brandon had another woman as his screensaver when he met me, let alone something more. My sister was right: confirm first, worry later. I was a she-wolf with a plan. I typed the address into my car’s GPS and I started driving towards my doom.

I stopped at a mall outside of the city to freshen up and buy some snacks for my stakeout. I was still optimistic and trying to take the whole thing in stride, Alaina's pep talk still fresh in my mind: “You don't know each other well yet... he might need to break up with his girlfriend... the mate bond is stronger than anything else... even Lucas and I had some hiccups in the beginning”. It was 6pm by the time I arrived at the address the Luna gave me. It was a nice brownstone, too nice actually. I had to triple check the address but it was the one she’d printed out. I had no choice but to sit in my car and wait. I opened my huge bag of potato chips and started crunching while listening to one of my saved Spotify playlists. I was still oddly calm about the whole thing. I chose a spot across the street but a little ways further down, so I’d have a good view of the front door, but still have enough timeto duck if I saw Brandon coming. Daddy would be proud. After he was finished whooping my ass for the whole thing. I almost started laughing to myself when I saw the door opening.

My heart leapt into my throat when I saw my handsome mate exit the building, wearing navy slacks and a gorgeous gray sweater, his curls mussed and a big smile on his face. Said heart started beating at an unbearable volume and I could feel it pulsing in my ears and throat when I saw the beautiful woman on his arm. Brandon looked down at her with a soft awe in his face as she continued animatedly telling him something that made both of them burst out laughing. This was not the same male who ate breakfast with me days ago. This was someone who touched his female every chance he got, from taking her hand to lead her down the stairs, to wrapping his hand around her waist and pressing a kiss to her… baby bump!

As I started feeling the potato chips make their way back up from my stomach, I was hit with the knowledge that I would never again willingly put a potato chip in my mouth for as long as I lived. As I heaved and vomited them back into the bag they came in, I felt dozens of tiny potato shards cutting my throat and nose on their way up, but the tears flowing down my face had nothing to do with that pain and everything to do with my heart being ripped to shreds.Hailey. Them.Theymiss him. That had to be it. I felt as if I'd taken something like peyote and the secrets of the universe had been revealed to me. My gut hadn’t been wrong, it kept warning me from the very beginning.

I finished returning the chips from my stomach to their bag and, as I was wiping my mouth, I saw them drive away. I then drank some water and exited my car as fast as I could. I dry heaved some more while kneeling on the sidewalk, but nothing came out. I was about to throw the vomit chips into the garbage can and make my way across the street, but at the last moment I decided to take them with me – even though we were in a big city and the smells were overwhelming, I didn’t want to risk Brandon catching my scent at his front door. I carried the vomit chips bag with me, keeping it open and swinging it around like those priests burning incense at ceremonies as I crossed the street. I looked at the doorbell and read the names “Wilson – Lane” on it. Hello, Hailey Wilson.

Once back in my car, I googled hotels and motels nearby, found one with decent reviews and okay prices, and got myself checked in for two nights. I needed to think. I needed to plan. I needed to decide. On what? I had no idea. Everyone I knew lived as a couple with their mate after finding them. No one in their right mind would choose someone else over their mate, that’s what everyone said. It just wasn’t done. Mates were for life, you couldn’t reject them and get someone new to love. Technically, it was possible to abandon your mate and live a miserable existence far away from them, but the act did nothing to lessen or extinguish the bond between you. Werewolves could literally die from a broken heart after their mate died, that’s how powerful the connection was.

So what was Brandon's plan? He had a pup on the way and a whole relationship apparently, but he was coming back to the pack next month for work. He mentioned signing a job contract with the pack, so it sounded official and definitive. Everyone at the pack knew we were mates, so he wouldn’t be able to avoid that issue once he came back. But here he was, staying in the same house as the pregnant human he was kissing. Oh God, is this why he hadn’t marked me? So I wouldn't feel him having sex with her? His wolf wouldn’t let him keep me unmarked forever. Did that mean he was leaving her? It hadn’t looked like it. The memories of his loving gaze and her baby bump caused my heart to constrict painfully once more.

This was such a mess. I decided to call my sister, take a nap, and go back to their house later to see if I could learn anything new. Maybe this whole thing would somehow resolve itself without me having to do anything. I felt like a mop that'd been used to clean a filthy public restroom, then wrung out and left in the bucket. I still needed to shower off the puke smell. But I also just wanted to close my eyes for a moment, and go to the only place that didn’t hurt.

I felt like a crazy stalker as I snuck behind Brandon's house at 11:30 pm. Humans living in the neighborhood would certainly think so. Wolves might understand me a bit better, I thought, but then remembered Brandon was one and he wouldn't. I'd doused my clothes in the fabric softener I’d found in the motel's laundry room in order to mask my scent in case any of theirwindows were open, and as I looked up I felt victorious, because one was. That’s when I heard it.

A female moan.

Kissing sounds.

The rustling of clothes being discarded.

A thud on the floor.

Panting.

Licking and slurping.

My heart started thundering and my fingers felt cold and clammy. My stomach was cramping painfully and I worried I was going to need a toilet soon.Maybe I should just leave, I thought briefly. The truth was not worth this pain. Suddenly, I wasn’t the person this was happening to. I was just someone debating a hypothetical situation about an insignificant issue, like which brand of butter to buy today.I should just go back to our pack, I thought,and pretend this never happened. Brandon could make his own decisions, I should just deal with those once he does.

Then I heard her say,oh Brandon, yes, like that! I need you inside me, now, baby, followed by some more slurping andthe clinking of a belt buckle.Your mate’s belt buckle, my disassociated brain helpfully added.

A hiss.

A deep, male groan followed by aoh baby you feel so good, fuck, Hailey.

Moaning.

Tears were now streaming down my face in what felt like torrents. My vision was completely blurry but it didn’t matter since my shifter hearing did all the work. Wet slapping sounds, grunts, kisses. Listening to those sounds felt like if someone had taken a somewhat dull scalpel and was trying to slice my skin off really slowly. I forgot why I was there. I was no longer intellectually aware of why this hurt so much. All I felt was burning pain, Iwaspain.

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