Page 17 of Unlearning

“Can I at least unpack first?” I eyed him impatiently. I’d just gotten back from Christmas break and I hadn't even had a chance to shower off the airport grossness before I was dragged into the Alpha's office. James was being weird.

“No, this can't wait.”

“Come on, has the place fallen apart after I've been gone for two weeks? There couldn't have been that much paperwork over the holidays!”

“It's not work,” on hearing that, I sat down immediately.

“What is it? Did something happen? Oh God - ”

“Samantha.”

I stopped speaking.

“I want to... ask you something.” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Next time we go to Crescent City, would you go out on a date with me?”

We were both silent for a while. I couldn't say that I'd seen this coming. Things had been changing between James and I for several months now, and it wasn’t like I hadn't secretly hoped for something like this, but I'd like to know more about what his reasoning was.

“Why?”

“Why should you go out with me or why am I asking you out?”

“Why are you asking me out?” I clarified.

He leaned back in his chair, his interlaced fingers resting on his stomach. He then tilted his head back and looked up to the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought.

“I've kind of liked you for a while now – I mean, what's not to like? You are kind, highly intelligent and capable, funny, enthusiastic about many things that I am also passionate about, me and my wolf both love spending time with you, and last but not least I am insanely attracted to you,” here he smiled and looked at me again. “The two of us also have a realistic chance of being in a long-term relationship with each other although we’re not fated, if we are both interested and if it turns out we are compatible. You have to admit that is rare for our kind. I would like to explore that further. I know it's not an easy thing, and I know some of your rules about dating shifters but I was kindof hoping you can see how I don't exactly fit into your widower category.”

I thought on this a bit, and realized he was right. And I loved that he was being frank and laying out all his reasons for me to analyze. But at the same time I was worried that this was a practical, rational decision on his end, born purely due to our circumstances.

“While that may be true, it sounds somewhat cold when you say it like that. I worry that this is some sort ofmarriage of conveniencearrangement.”

James had heard me discuss romance novels enough to know exactly what I meant.

“Samantha, my job is managing the administrative side of these Parks, I should not be going on patrol or doing rounds, and yet how often have I gone with you since you've started working here?”

“About twice a week,” I blushed. I suddenly understood Carter's teasing.

“And how convenient is it that we’re always together on patrol? When you're not paired with mated wolves or females, that is. It's almost as if I was the one in charge of scheduling these things and I loved spending most of my time with you,” he smiled smugly, like the cat who got the cream.

“Okay, I get it, I feel really stupid now for not finding that suspicious by the way,” I frowned, and I meant it. But I wanted to deal with one thing at a time. “You know you can never markme though? Unless... you know, death of certain people occurs,” I grimaced.

“I'm 35 years old, Samantha, I know what I want, and I've had enough time to consider this from every possible angle. Since I was 18 years old, I haven't been able to even fantasize about the idea of a happy long term relationship with a she-wolf. I've always considered it impossible and unattainable. I would happily be with you if you allow me, mark or no mark. Plus,youcan mark me,” here he smirked,smirked! at me. “I would proudly wear your mark, and it would probably trigger some half-bond for us anyway.”

He had nothing but clear honesty and determination on his face. I, however, was lost in a whirlwind of questions and concerns. He seemed to sense my conflicting thoughts and added: ”I won't lie to you, I am also terrified of starting something like this. I've wanted to ask you out so many times, but my ultimate hang up has always been that you have a mate out there, one who can change his mind and come back groveling, trying to get you back. He has something that I can never offer you, and you leaving me would absolutely destroy me if it were to happen after we'd been together, after I'd dared to dream and hope,” he was now breathing heavily, as if someone was filling his lungs with fluid. I could see his canines beginning to descend, so I quickly reassured him:

“I can honestly tell you, that as long as I live and am of sound mind, I willneverbe with that male, bond or no bond. I will spend my life on the run if necessary. I may not be able to sever the bond or remove the chemical attraction that happens when our bodies are close to each other, but by God, what Icando is not put myself in that proximity. I can work hard not to bephysically or technologically available to him. I have been doing so for 7 years. I've sacrificed being with my family, watching my sister's pups grow, spoiling them, living in my birth pack, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if it means evading Brandon. I will always work to the best of my ability to distance myself from the temptation and I would rather die trying than succumb to the bond with someone like him. I truly don't respect him, I dislike him, and I want nothing from him.” I took a deep breath, stopping myself from taking a detour into a longer tirade against Brandon as a mate.

“We should give this,” I gestured between the two of us, “a try. I really like you and enjoy spending time with you. So far we've managed to communicate well and solve our problems through dialogue and I hope we'll continue doing so. You've said you'd never been in a relationship, and I've been in only one, with a human, so it's safe to say that there will be a lot of trial and error for both of us,” I chuckled. “But yeah, let's try and see if we can push this from coworkers who are friends to partnersslashlovers,” I winked at him to cover up my fear about making the leap, but James abruptly got up from his seat, came over to my side of the desk, sat down on it and pulled me up to him so that I was now standing between his legs.

“I may know nothing about relationships, but I know how to work hard for what I want. You know this about me. And you've already pushed this from coworkersslashfriends, for me at least,” he said, gently mocking, his lips inches away from mine, “the moment you entered my car smelling of your pleasure many months ago.”

I swallowed hard, feeling a tiny jolt of warmth travel down my belly, and tried looking everywhere but his eyes. James thenpressed a feather-light kiss to my lips and said, “That's settled then,” before leaving me in his office to wonder how the hell that happened.

???

Three weeks later, I was at the Crescent City apartment getting ready for our first date. Since asking me out, James had been more gentle and more affectionate than ever, like he'd decided to clue me in on another facet of his personality, one I was willing to bet no one had seen before. I’d constantly find little notes from him tucked into my desk, in my locker, or shoved under my bedroom door.

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