Page 33 of One Last Regret

Amelia’s voice is barely a whisper, too low for Gabriel to hear. I turn to her, and the fear in her eyes cuts through my own fright. I smile tenderly and admit, “I’m worried too.”

“He’s sleepwalking again,” Amelia says, “Well,youknow that since you were there when he sleepwalked last night. And he keeps mumbling in his sleep.”

“What does he mumble?” I ask.

I don’t realize that I fear her answer until she says, “I don’t know. I can’t understand most of it. Sometimes I hear him say Grandpa’s name, but that’s the only thing I can tell for sure.”

I nod and put a protective arm around her. She sidles close to me and watches her brother with a mixture of love, grief and terror. “He did this before, when Grandpa died. He shut himself in his room and only came out for meals and showers. Hewouldn’t even letmetalk to him.” She sniffles. “I know he’s sad about Claude, but… I mean, it wasn’t like it was when Grandpa died. We liked him, but notthatmuch.”

“People process grief in different ways,” I tell her.

I realize for the first time how utterly foolish and unhelpful that statement is, but what am I supposed to say? Your brother’s going insane, and I know this because I’m right behind him if not a few steps ahead?

She shakes her head. “This isn’t grief, though. This is… weird.”

I try to think of something more reassuring and land on, “Some people need to believe in spirituality to overcome tragedy. Your brother might feel that by channeling those he’s lost, he’s making it possible for them to live again.”

Yeah, I’m making this so much worse. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but… Well, I had my chance to help. I failed badly. “Dr. Yarrow will be able to help you two understand the way you’re feeling a lot better than I will.”

Amelia bites her lip. “I just don’t want him to hurt himself. Last night really scared me, Mary.”

“It’s just music,” I say. “It can’t be as powerful as everyone’s making it out to be.”

“Notthat.I mean, when he ran off in the city to go find the music."

“Oh.” Heat climbs my neck. “Of course.”

“What if he wanders off one night? What if no one hears him get up, and he just goes away? What if he thinks he needs to join Grandpa or something?”

I look at her and say firmly, “That willnothappen. I promise you. I won’t let something that awful happen to your brother.”

She looks at me with despair. “You can’t stop him, Mary. If that’s what he really wants, no one can stop him.”

“Amelia, I don’t know what’s happening here,” I admit. “I don’t know if we’re all sleepwalking or having nightmares or hallucinating or just grieving. But I will promise you one thing: whatever’s happening here, it will all be nothing more than a memory someday. One day, years from now, we’ll look back on this. Maybe the memory won’t be pleasant, but it will beover. And weallwill survive to keep it in the past where it belongs.”

She smiles softly. “You’re very brave, Mary. Thank you for helping me feel better.”

Oh no, I’m not. Not even close.

I kiss her on the forehead and limit my response to “Thank you.”

We both turn toward the tv to see Gabriel staring at us. I feel the blood drain from my face and see Amelia's expression mirror that feeling. Gabriel looks between both of us. Then he says, "I'm not going to kill myself if that's what you're worried about, Amelia."

Amelia’s lip trembles. “I just want you to get better, Gabe. You’re my brother. I love you.”

“We all want you to get better,” I add. “And I really hope you’ll listen to Dr. Yarrow. He’ll help you learn how to deal with everything you’re feeling.”

“Maybe you should talk to him too,” he suggests. “So you can deal with what you’re feeling.”

“Don’t be rude, Gabe,” Amelia scolds. “She’s trying to help you.”

“I’m trying to help her,” he replies. “She played the piano first, you know.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“She played it first. The night Claude died. She went downstairs and played the piece.”

“She doesn’t even play piano!”

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