Page 38 of Pomegranate Kiss

Lex leaned against the wall beside her. She stared at the wall on the opposite side of the foyer where a piece of art hung along the wall, a woman bound in black rope.

“I still don’t know why you’re here, Cam,” Lex murmured, something lost and devastating in her voice. “You say you want me, and you’re good when we’re physical, sure. But the moment our arrangement ended, you moved away for months to a place I couldn’t follow. You know I’m on parole. And no matter how you claim this arranged marriage isn’t what you want, I don’t see you coming out to your parents or fighting it hard.”

Cam opened her mouth, her tongue dry. She wanted to tell her parents, she did. But the free-fall wasn’t something she could survive. If she were being honest with herself, part of her kept the charade with Nazir going because pretending to go on dates with him felt safe. Because it didn’t make her blaze with anything real.

He offered stability and had the acceptance of her family.

Yet the one person she wanted was Alexis Dukas.

Lex’s nails dug into the wall behind her, and she wouldn’t look her way. “You want truth, Cam? I’ve always been everyone’s good time, experiment, or freak show because I’ve always fallen for girls who swerve straight at the last second or never were interested in the first place. And I’m done. I’m done chasing people in the closet. You talk big about how you want commitment, but if you wanted that with me you wouldn’t be wasting time in Savannah with an arranged marriage in the works.”

She looked to her at last, a finality in her eyes that socked Cam in the stomach.

“Go home, Cam. Go to your betrothed, have your family and dozens of fat children. I’m gay and proud of it. I might’ve dealt with all the sneaking around for the six months you were mine, but I came out when I was in high school, and I won’t let anyone make me feel like I’m in the closet again.”

Cam swallowed hard. The hurt in Lex’s voice rang clear, and her words hit like a slap. She wasn’t wrong. She’d known what she wanted for a bit, and yet once she returned home, she’d lapsed into the same cycle of letting her parents take the rein over her life. She’d compromised, compromised, compromised, until she struggled to know what belonged to her or who she was.

“I’m not giving up, Lex,” she said, even as she took the first steps toward the door. The heat between them hadn’tdisintegrated, even after the way they’d both sliced each other open. But she’d been the one to make the first cut, and after seeing the gasp of vulnerability that remained behind Lex’s impassive mask, she couldn’t turn back.

She’d hurt her. Not on purpose, but she’d dragged her along for six months unwilling to even admit she had no interest in men. That she’d always been interested in women, but the avenue had never been one she’d been allowed to consider.

She waited for the tug at her wrist, hoping Lex would change her mind and ask her to stay. But when she reached the door, Lex remained where she leaned against the wall, staring at the ceiling like she might burn holes through it. Cam dipped her head in goodbye before she walked out the door.

Three weeks home from winter break. Which meant she had three weeks to try to convince Lex she was serious this time.

Chapter Nineteen

Cam’s reappearance in town had been hydrogen peroxide on the open wounds across Lex’s heart. She’d barely been able to push thoughts of her from her mind in the first place, and with the way she kept stepping into her line of sight at Third Eye Coffee, at the Food Lion, hell even at the Gin Mill, there was no escaping the woman.

She’d already gotten the scoop from Danny that Cam returned home for winter break, staying the three weeks until she went back to SCAD. With Christmas approaching at the end of the week, only one and a half remained until Cam would disappear to Savannah again.

Pushing her away the afternoon she’d showed up at her door had been the hardest thing she’d done, but Lex couldn’t sustain how each encounter left her battered and broken inside.

Maybe Cam’s persistence should’ve flattered her. Hell, she’d been just as relentless.

However, despite the clear interest, Cam still refused to admit she was gay. Lex had been serious when she told her she wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole while she stayed staunchly in the closet. Danny hadn’t even known about them until Lex had confessed on that shitty bathroom floor, and she could guarantee Cam hadn’t come out to her yet.

Still, the club didn’t hold the distraction she’d been hoping for tonight. Mitch sat next to her with his glass of scotch, leaning against the bar and staring out to the crowd. He looked every bit the bartender even away from his job, because the man had almost the same commitment to black that she did.

“Are we going to talk about what’s been up your ass sideways?” Mitch asked, even as he didn’t look at her.

“What?” Lex called back, pretending she couldn’t hear over the noise.

Mitch shot her a dead-eye look. She hadn’t seen him as much since she’d finished up on his sleeve, but when he’d called her out to Notes tonight, she seized on the chance. Anything to keep her from another night alone in her house, waiting for a knock to sound on her door and then hating herself when it didn’t.

“Had a fling that went sour, that’s all,” she said, lifting the pomegranate and rum concoction she’d been addicted to as of late. “Nothing drinks and distraction won’t cure.” The thump of the bass beat reverberated through her bones, and Lex tapped her boot against the chair, even though the music didn’t slam into her like it normally did.

Mitch lifted a brow, but out of anyone, he knew better than to push. The two of them were too alike in the way they kept everyone at a distance. Yet the fact he called her up for tipping back drinks at the club meant as much as a long and overly poetic emotions talk from Cal. This was one of the few places Cam wouldn’t follow since she didn’t do the whole dancing and pulsing electronica thing.

All that made her think of was Danny’s bachelorette and the night they’d spent together in the hotel afterward. Her core pulsed, and her heart hurt. This fucking sucked, but she’d meant what she told Cam. She couldn’t risk splintering on jagged rocks again. She’d be obliterated.

It had taken hitting this low again to make her realize she’d grown tired of the chase and tired of distracting herself. But if she was going to sort her life out and begin settling down in Charleston, that meant avoiding her old holding patterns of chasing after the unattainable.

Mitch lifted his cup, and Lex clinked hers with it.

“To distractions,” he said, staring at the surface of the bar like he was lost in his own damage. Lex didn’t pry. She knew better.

Unfortunately, the very woman she’d been trying to distract herself from walked through the entrance of Notes Nightclub, looking so fine the breath caught in Lex’s throat. Not like Cam had a day where she wasn’t gorgeous enough to hurt. Lex had seen her in every state from all dolled up to casual and makeup free, and she’d found each side of her stunning.

---