Page 31 of The Program

I grimaced. ‘I know. Anyway, after Reece was first accused the captain assigned us a protection detail. Another team of cadets that happened tobe our neighbours. There was Dorian from the Border System. He had the most incredible, bright red eyes, and he was nice but I think he made fun of me sometimes. Not in a bad way, but things for some reason I always felt awkward around him.

I paused to take a breath. Thinking of the men I had left behind was painful, but now the floodgates had been opened and I didn't want to stop. 'Then there was Urman, a Griknot-Yu’Rom mutt. He and Dorian were practically attached at the hip, but he was a good guy. Henrik was the quietest, and he was planning on specialising in medical. He was always playing the nurse.

'And Cadmus… Libs, Cadmus was aDrakfern.Well, a mutt. He was also part Terran, but he still had wings and I got to see them! They were so beautiful and the colours… He kept teasing me about wanting to see them, but it was all in good fun.’

I rambled on a bit more about each of the guys from the other team, wistfully thinking about how things would have turned out of The Program hadn’t swooped in and destroyed everything. But that was just a dream. I was going to leave them all behind anyway, there was no point in wishing for any other possibility.

‘They sound nice, but something tells me you haven’t finished yet. Who were the other two guys on your team? There were four of you, right?’ she asked, freeing me from the internal spiral before it could drag me down.

‘There was Foryk. He was a Tornu. Then there was Bromm. He was a Griknot prince. Nothing else to say,’ I said curtly.

Libby sat beside me in contemplative silence for a moment before breaking it. ‘Which one was it?’

‘Which one was what?’ I asked with false ignorance.

‘Which one hurt you to leave behind?’

My breath hitched. Damn her for knowing me so well and calling me out on it.

‘Bromm.’ I whispered my admission. Truthfully, it hurt to leave them all behind, but he was the most painful. My feelings for him were even greater than what I felt for T all those solars ago. Leaving him behind in The Program’s clutches combined with letting things progress between us as faras they did… the pain was indescribable. It made me physically ill every time I thought about it, so I did what I did every time thoughts of him came up.

I pushed them aside and pretended everything was fine.

I drained my bowl, the brown of my brand also draining back into the baseline green. It was lukewarm from sitting untouched while I talked, but it still slid down nicely, then I stood to return it to the hastily constructed washing station.

‘I think I’m going to take a look at the wreckage today. See what I can do to fix it up. I don’t want to wait any longer for the kids’ sakes,’ I said, starting the climb down without looking back.

I knew she was following even if I didn’t see her, but I kept moving forward as if she weren’t there.

She didn’t let that last long, however. A few steps into the forest and she grabbed my hand, walking beside me. ‘Maybe when things have settled down and we’re no longer being hunted you can go back for him.’

I patted her hand, appreciating what she was trying to do despite the knowledge it could never happen. ‘Yeah, maybe.’

Bromm and the others were in the past. I could never go back for them. It was past time to move on, even if my heart shattered to even think about forgetting them. Forgettinghim.

CHAPTER 12

ARTEMIS

The shipwreck wasn’t actually as bad as it looked. At first glance, it was completely totalled and incapable of flying. Nothing but useless scrapped metal. In reality, most of the damage was superficial. The parts I’d been collecting would need replacing, or at the very least remoulding to fit back into place.

The more I examined the extent of the damage the more I began to realise the job was more like completing a puzzle. Inside was a bit banged up from the impact, but for the most part everything was still intact. It really was just the external pieces that got scraped off during the skid as well as a few bumps and bruises that would need to be ironed out.

It was the best news the camp could have received.

Still, it was going to take a few days to bring it back to flying standards, but what was a few days compared to the few weeks we’d previously assumed?

Still, there was a little niggling voice in the back of my mind whispering that our good luck wouldn’t last. What were the chances that the scientists would perform an experiment on me that gave me the ability to fight back, I’d freeallthe women in that particular facility, level it, survive the wilds of an unknown planet, find the perfect place to lay low, and find a ship that I could fly to save the kids? It was too good to be true. Our luck was about to run out soon and we needed to act quickly before it did.

I sat in solitude by the creature. I’d been calling him Dave. I couldn’t really say why, nor could I decipher it’s gender, but it seemed like a Dave to me. Either way, I enjoyed his company because he was the only one who wasn’t constantly asking me questions.

I didn’t mind helping the other women learn survival techniques, really, but it was mentally depleting after a while. The skills I had were from brief research or personal trial and error, but where I had the opportunities to learn from experience, they did not. The Program had taught a few of them some survival skills, like Francesca and her partner’s ability to create a fire, but not all of them were so lucky. If I were to leave them to search for their children then I needed to know I’d be leaving them with enough knowledge to survive without me.

I cringed even thinking about it. I hated that they were looking up to me for guidance. Leading was never something I’d had an interest in, even when I’d been promoted at Nova Academy. It was a massive responsibility that I would rather someone else took, and I was hoping my absence would create a vacuum that someone else would step in to fill. It was tiring enough dealing with my own traumas and issues, let alone everyone else’s too.

Which was why I was hiding behind Dave while the rest of them celebrated the continued hope that I would bring back their children. Even Libby was enjoying herself with Francesca. The two of them had spent the whole evening together in their own little bubble, and it filled my heart with joy to see my best friend so happy and free, interacting with someone who wasn’t me. The only thing that could have made it better was if Bal were here, too.

The very idea of leaving her behind where I couldn’t keep watch over her made me itch all over. Been there, did that once already. Never wanted to do it again. But I also wasn’t willing to risk that baby growing in her belly, either, which left me no other choice than to execute this rescue mission on my own.

---