Page 47 of The Program

So I’d continued to dig deeper into The Program’s uploaded files to find where they were keeping the children. And sure enough, Bromm was correct. They were on Nova Station, just like he’d said. I’d even succeeded in finding the exact location of their experimental facilities. Luckily for me, collecting Reece and Addy would be easy enough as they were on the way to the kids.

But even after confirming Bromm’s claims I was stuck in a vicious cycle of doubting my doubts, then doubting those doubts, then starting all over again.

Forcing the chaos in my head to stop, I chose to believe that what happened was real, that Bromm loved me and was waiting to hear from me when I arrived at Nova Station. I’d find out one way or the other when Icontacted him. If he gave me a rendezvous point then I’d know once and for all, and I could deal with the fallout then. For now, the hope that he truly did love me, no masks or disguises between us, kept my spirits high and helped push me through the last little adjustments that needed fixing on the ship.

By the end of the day, it was as ready as it was going to get, and all I needed to do was start it up and fly.

Tomorrow, though. Tonight would be the last night I got to spend with Libby, and I was going to make the most of it before I was forced to leave her again.

I would also have to tell her I might be coming back with more than just the kids…

I quickly pocketed the working holo-tab I’d discovered in the cockpit before I could forget, then I leapt down from the ship’s hangar. The door rose to seal shut behind me as soon as my feet cleared the platform. The forest was quiet around me. I was alone, and the darkening sky produced a sort of limbo between nature’s daytime and nighttime activity. Another time I might have found the silence eery and proceeded back to the cave with caution, but I enjoyed the quiet. It gave me time with my thoughts without the business of all the other women pushing down on me.

It was a pleasant walk back.

The hustle and bustle of the dinner time rush greeted me when I arrived back. Francesca handed me a bowl of stew and a smaller bowl of steaming hot tea, the small leaves and colourful blooms still floating around in the liquid.

I thanked her and went in search of Libby.

I found her in our little side-cave, hiding away from the world as she worked on sewing together some of the hides that had finally dried. She looked up when I entered, her smile warm but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

‘When?’ was all she asked. She didn’t need to elaborate for understanding to pass between us.

‘Tomorrow morning.’

Without another word, she finished tying off the stitch she was working on so she could place her project to the side and focus her full attention on me. I took that as my time to finish my meal, placing the bowls in the sort-of table in the centre of the room.

‘What supplies do you need?’ she asked.

‘Nothing. I found enough Nutri-Bars already stocked.’

‘Water?’

‘Clear. The filtration system still works fine.’

‘Clothes?’

‘There are jumpsuits on board. Enough that you lot should probably take some. They’re temperature regulated.’

‘…Me?’ she finally asked, her voice small and warbly from the tears she was trying to hide from me.

Immediately, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, dragging us both onto my little makeshift mattress. Burying my nose in her hair I breathed in her scent, committing it to memory. It went unspoken, but there was always the risk that I would be unsuccessful and wouldn’t return. Neither of us wanted to speak the possibility into existence, however, so we simply clung to one another with a desperation neither of us could deny.

‘You’re going to hold down the fort while I’m gone,’ I told her, stroking my fingers through her hair and gently prying free the knots they snagged on. ‘You’re going to keep these women in line, make sure this place stays running, and prepare for our return.’

‘Why can’t I come with you?’ she sniffed. ‘I’m not so far along in my pregnancy that I can’t be useful. Let me come with you.’

I sighed, my breath ruffling her hair as it left my lips in a shaky puff. ‘You know why, Libs. Bal needs someone safe to go to if I don’t make it back. And neither one of us is risking losing that sweet baby in your belly. I need yousafe.’

Her body shook as a great sob tore from her chest. ‘Damn you. Damn you.Damn you.’

I broke down with her, my guilt over leaving her the first time overwhelming. ‘I’m so sorry, L. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me,’ I begged.

She pulled back, her eyes red and swollen, her nose running, but there was a determined strength in her gaze that had my own tears drying up.

‘I told you to leave before, A. I don’t regret it. I wanted you to have freedom, even if I couldn’t. I don’t forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive.’

My face crumpled with the effort of trying to hold back the emotion. I didn’t want to saddle her with my guilt. I’d done enough. She was just trying to show me kindness where it wasn’t deserved.

---