Page 24 of The Program

I physically shook off those thoughts which drew the captain’s attention. His eyes peered through his arms at me. I used that to grab hold of him and pull him back.

‘Captain, my shift is over,’ I informed him, keeping my voice low and kind. ‘Time to get up and make yourself presentable.’

His gulp was audible, the flex of his throat exaggerated as he attempted to swallow his emotions and don his mask once again. He was mostly successful.

He stood back up, straightened his clothing, smoothed down his hair, and wiped at the tears on his face. He couldn’t get rid of the redness or the puffiness and there was still an immense sadness spilling from him if you knew where to look, but to those who didn’t care they wouldn’t see anything other than the same pristine captain he always presented himself as.

‘Thank you,’ he said monotonously, though the slight inflection at the end when his breath hitched let me hear his sincerity.

I responded with a nod and went back to my post.

Just as I settled back into my position my replacement showed up, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw she was my mother.

‘All quiet?’ she asked, briefly glancing towards the captain with the real question in her eyes.

‘All quiet,’ I affirmed.

‘Good. Go get some rest. We’ve got another shipment coming in tomorrow and it’ll be all hands on deck.’

I frowned at the news. I hadn’t told the others what was in those shipments, but it was even more concerning that they had so many. If our intel was correct, there were hundreds of children born from The Program’s experiments and they were all being sent here. Nova Station was about to be overrun with toddlers with dangerous abilities, and I could only hopeand pray to whatever deity would listen that the scientists would be able to contain them. Especially in a structure like Nova Station where our very survival was dependent upon very delicate machines. If even one broke free and managed to find themselves somewhere they weren’t supposed to be, the entire station and everyone on it could be destroyed.

‘Understood. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ I gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and left.

I stupidly snuck in one last glance at the distraught captain before walking away, and the dead, hopeless look in his eyes gave me chills that haunted me for the rest of the journey to my assigned room.

All of us guards had been provided a place to stay within our assigned area on Nova Station. I had been given a dorm within Nova Academy equipped with a kitchenette and living space that I was lucky enough to share with my parents. Their room was opposite mine, but they were currently both working so I had the place to myself for the time being. That privacy was also what allowed me to finally break as soon as the door closed behind me.

My breath left me in a whoosh as my back slid down the door. Once on the floor I rested my arms on my knees to prop up my head, squeezed my eyes shut and begged my emotions to shut off.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt someone.

No, I wanted to hurtmyself.I was here because of my own actions. I’d lost the only woman I had ever truly loved and I was the only one to blame. I’d tried my best, but it wasn’t enough. Iwasn’t enough.

I had to be tough. There was no other choice. This mess the entire IU had found itself in was going to take a war to correct. Lines were already being drawn, sides were being taken, and the fighting was about to start. My only option was to put on a brave face and pretend I knew what I was doing.

But it was in moments like these, those rare times when I was completely alone and free to let my mask drop and bare my pain, my very soul, to the universe that I admitted the truth to myself. I was scared. I was lonely. I was pushing ahead without a plan, floundering in the dark with only a feather for an anchor.

And Ihatedmyself for what I did to Artemis. I should have been there for her like I’d promised, but I’d just fucked it all up. Just like I fucked upeverything else in my life. My parents thought I was the golden child, but that was beyond far from the truth.

No matter how hard I tried, I only seemed to make things worse.

I let myself feel it for a little bit longer before I tucked it all away again in their neat piles in the back of my mind. Emotions hadn’t gotten me anywhere good so far, I wasn’t about to let them wreak any more havoc. People were depending on me, and I needed to make things right.

I stood back up, wiped the wetness from my face that I hadn’t realised had accumulated in my moment of weakness, and went right back to pretending I was stronger than I actually was.

CHAPTER 9

ARTEMIS

The pile of scrap metal parts was growing. In my quest to collect the materials for the cave I was also picking up the ship parts I was finding along the way and moving them to the side to keep them in one place to come back for later.

Once I had found enough fallen branches and vines to create the pulley system, I set to work. By the time nightfall started to make its appearance, the light dim but still bright enough for me to continue working on my project, I was just able to make out the sight of Libby leading the women at a slow pace towards me.

It took me a moment to realise why. Two of the women were carrying another who was panting and perspiring, unable to hold herself up without their support. She was one of the two furthest along in their pregnancies, and I soon figured out why she was struggling so much.

Her face twisted with pain as she bent over, then the two holding her up caught her as her legs buckled. She groaned, the sound filled with agony and exhaustion while her partner came in from behind to start rubbing circles on her lower back and hips. She clutched at her stomach and leant heavily on those supporting her as she rode through the wave of pain.

I stood, unsure what was happening which drew Libby’s attention. Her shoulders slumped with relief and she bounded her way over to me, carelessly tripping over the underbrush in her rush to reach me.

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