Page 12 of Savage Hope

There it was.

Slammed shut in my face.

But no one was close to it.

Not that I saw.

Mrs. Stephens and Mr. Deakin were in a heated discussion at her desk.

It doesn’t make sense.

No one else in the line knew what I was talking about.

I don’t know what it was, maybe the wind, but it didn’t feel like the wind.

Maybe I’m going insane in this place.

Yeah, that’s it. It makes total sense.

Here I am, signing out while still sound of mind.

I hope.

P x

Dear Diary,

Seventeen.

The final countdown is here.

I don’t feel any joy at all for this birthday. None.

Not when I spend my thirty minutes every day doing the same thing, chatting with S for twenty-five of them and kissing T in the corner for the last five.

I’m not the only one; S has a boyfriend, his name is, B.

T isn’t my boyfriend.

I don’t think he’s even my friend. There’s no talking, just kissing, but he inched his hand to my breast today, squeezing gently around my tiny B cups, and I liked it.

I also chose him for my birthday today. We didn’t do anything else, but I’m starting to think I want to.Everybody else is, and for the first time in my life, I’m intrigued and curious by what they’re doing around me…

Maybe for his birthday?

P x

Dear Diary,

I… Well he… I just… He just…

I couldn’t do it.

Sex.

How do three little letters make up such a tiny word that holds such huge meaning?

Whoever came up with it needs to reassess themselves. That’s what I told S too, but she was too busy correcting me on the fact it stands for sexual intercourse. That just makes it worse.

---