Page 24 of Slay Ride

She waves me off. “Don’t mention it. But are you sure you’re okay to get back to the path on your own? If you want, I can wait for you at the bottom. Once you get there, you can decide if you want to get your first kill. If not, I’ll help you come up with a reason why you didn’t.”

I flop onto my ass—intentionally, this time. “I appreciate the gesture, but I think I just want to use the fear of smashing into a tree as an excuse. Do you mind keeping this just between us?”

She smiles down at me and shakes her head. “Not a bit. But you know...you may not be a killer, and that’s okay. Not everyone is cut out for this hobby.”

Eve wields these words as if they’re flowers, not realizing the rose stems still bear thorns that pierce my heart. Knowing her intentions come from a place of kindness doesn’t soften the blow.

Because I’ve heard these words before.

It’s okay if you aren’t good at sports, Cat.

It’s okay if you aren’t good at dancing, Cat.

It’s okay if you never get a callback from an audition, Cat.

But it’s not okay. None of it has ever been okay. When will I finally discover something I’m good at? When will I finally belong?

“No,” I say. “I want to do this, but I want it to be on my terms. I think it’ll be easier if I can make my first kill on my own. Could you make sure everyone is gone by the time I get down the mountain?”

“Sure thing, honey.” She kicks a clump of snow with the toe of her boot. “So...are you sure you’re only into men?”

“Unfortunately, I am as straight as a board, but if I wasn’t, I’d eat a hole straight through you.”

“Fuck, don’t tease me like that,” she says with a moan.

“I’m serious. You’re the full package. I was jealous of you at first because I thought you had eyes for Maverick, and I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t think any woman stands a chance with him.”

“Why do you say that?”

Eve places her hands at the small of her back and stares down the mountain. “When I sat with him at dinner, he mostly talked about work. We’re in the same field, so there was plenty to talk about, but he never steered the topics toward anything else. He gives the vibe that he’s emotionally unavailable.”

“Kindra’s mentioned something similar,” I say. “So has Ezra, come to think of it. I guess it would be silly of me to try to kiss him at midnight, huh?”

“I wouldn’t saysilly.” Eve sits beside me and begins strapping her feet to the snowboard. “He’s a very attractive man, as far as men go. He gives off golden-retriever energy, too, and bitches love that.”

I sigh. “Yeah, bitches do.”

She stops fastening the ankle straps and looks at me. “You’re a golden retriever too, though.”

“Me?”

“Yeah,you.” Her fingers set back to work again, and then she stands. “You’re like a little ball of happiness, spreading joy wherever you go. You don’t even have to try.”

“Thanks, Eve.”

“Don’t mention it.” She gathers her braids, tucks them into her hood, then lowers her goggles. “I’ll see you at the party tonight, yeah?”

“You can count on it. If I chicken out with Maverick, you can be my kiss at midnight.”

“Don’t do that unless you’re prepared to question your sexuality.”

And with that, she disappears down the mountain, leaving me alone with about a mile to walk. At least the sun is up now.

I pull my mask into place and lower the goggles over my eyes. The latter serves a dual purpose, protecting my eyes from the freezing winds and dimming the glare on the snow as well.

Once I’m in the woods again, the animals come to life. Dark squirrels with bushy tails leap across the branches above me. A hare in its white winter coat darts across the path in front of me, there one second and gone the next. If it weren’t for the little footprints he left behind, I’d think I imagined him.

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