Page 101 of Broken Dreams

Rising, I stumble to my feet, running for the closest place I can get to, which is the large kitchen sink. I could tell I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom, not while the bile is rising, and I can taste the metallic flavor that reminds me of his cum.

Retching, I shudder as fluid and pieces of food come up. Cold fingers pull back my hair almost immediately as I clutch the counter crying because this hurts in so many ways. There’s the licking shame of the things I let Alpha Miles do to me when I couldn’t consent.

That word has been a joke for a lot of years.

There’s also a hatred for the memories I’m forced to hold space for, locked up inside of me because I can’t talk about them.The words are frozen, much like my vocal cords as everything inside of me finds its easiest exit point.

“Let it all go,” Duncan murmurs in my ear. Somehow, it makes me sob harder as my body takes that as a challenge, seizing as I gag on nothing.

I don’t have anything left to vomit, and only have tears and pain in return. I don’t feel anything, I just feel gross.

“You’re okay. Breathe, baby girl. Wash out your mouth,” he demands. I'm glad he’s here, because all I can do is blankly stare at the mess I’ve made. I swear I might have pieces of food on my face, and I feel revulsion for myself as I clean up. “Dry off and let me tell you something before I take you upstairs so I can run you a bath.”

I don’t think I’ve had a bath in over twenty years.

I’m shocked as I press a towel to my face to absorb the water dripping from my skin, turning to face him.

“You heard me,” he says. “The tub in your bathroom is incredible, it’s time you used it.”

He’s right, I’ve only ever used the shower in there, because the tub feels overindulgent. I don’t deserve to relax in warm water filled with bubbles, right?

Duncan gently takes the towel from me, tossing it on the counter. My nose wrinkles at him as he wraps his arm around my waist, chuckling at me.

“Callum will put it where it needs to go,” he purrs in my ear. “Probably in the next few minutes because he’s going to clean out the sink.”

Cringing, I attempt to turn around because that’s nasty. He shouldn’t have to look at it, much less clean it up.

“Shit, Quinn, he’s really not going to care about a little vomit as long as you’re taking care of yourself, okay?” he says, waiting for me to nod and start walking toward the stairs.

I’ve learned things tonight I never thought I’d hear. I feel spacey as I follow where Duncan leads me. I don’t want to think anymore, and my mind is having trouble tracking my surroundings. It feels as if one moment I’m at the base at the stairs, while the next, I’m at the top.

Since I can’t teleport, I’m going to take this as a bad sign.

Duncan simply continues on, practically propping me between the door and the counter while he prepares the bath.

“I’m going to stay with you,” he says worriedly, watching as I zone in and out. “Is that okay? Drowning in the bath would be a little anticlimactic.”

That gets my attention, helps me begin to snap out of my fog. Nodding, I force myself to move and brush my teeth. The mintiness of my toothpaste may help sharpen my mind, and push away the rest of my funk. It also clears my mouth of the gross taste of vomit.

This is how I know I’m not completely here, I usually would have immediately been brushing my teeth.

Sighing at myself in disappointment, I watch as Duncan adds bath salts and lights a candle at the edge of the huge tub. God, this must be what it’s like to be pampered. I’ve never had this before, and I’m in awe of it.

“Come here, beautiful,” he murmurs, drying his hands off after checking the temperature of the water to make sure it’s right.

Carefully, he helps me pull off my clothes, dropping each piece into the hamper to be dealt with later. Next, he carefully pulls every sharp pin out of my hair, dropping it into the cup sitting by the tub as if in wait for them.

Taking my hand, he ensures I get into the bathtub safely, but I hold on tightly to his hand. I don’t want to be in the tub alone suddenly. I want to feel his steadiness and strength, and hope it may help me shore my own.

I don’t feel very strong right now.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, so I tug him gently toward the tub. I’m not a psychopath, I don’t want him to fall in or anything. “If you’re sure, I’ll join you.”

Leaning back, I nod, watching him strip his clothing off piece by piece, knowing I’ll be digging them out of the hamper for Linus and my nest. Even though his scent is on our sheets, I crave more of it. His ink is beautiful, the skull with a crown on it that saysMy Queencatching my eye.

I’m intrigued by it, and it’s beautiful. It doesn’t occur to me that there would be any other women, which may be due to how I’m feeling tonight. Jealousy isn’t an emotion I have space for at the moment.

I fully expect to fall asleep in the bath, which is another reason I want Duncan to stay with me.

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