Page 72 of The Hardest Part

“And I miss the hell outta you.” Jake squeezed her tight, emphasizing his words. “This isn’t gonna be forever. My mom’s gettin’ better every day, and calving will be over soon.”

Feels like forever.

“Not for another month.”

“Emily…”

Her nerves fired all at once. She clasped her hands around his neck and kissed him with every ounce of longing she had in her. And when she was done, Jake would leave here with swollen lips and a hard-on in his pants to think of her by.

He pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. You’ve gotta go.”

“I do,” he said, his lips skimming over her forehead. “I’ll try to stop by on my way home in the morning. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.” And he kissed her once more.

“I love you, too.”

She watched him go, tossing the shit-covered hockey puck into the trash.

Harry’s meatloaf, while delicious, was little consolation. Her vision blurring, Emily stared at the slice of cherry pie. Any other day she would’ve devoured it, but with the funk she was in, she had no appetite.

“Might as well just go to bed.” She huffed out a breath. “Great, and now I’m talkin’ to myself.”

The scrapbook Billy gave her for her birthday sat on her bedside table. Every memory they shared was in it—from playing in a sandbox as toddlers to the last bonfire party they went to before she turned eighteen.

Her fingertips rubbed over the leather cover. She opened it to the last page. A picture of her with Arien and Shiloh on the dance floor next to a shot of her sitting on a hay bale with her arms around Billy and Jake.

“That’s my future right there.” Emily smiled through the tears sliding down her face.

She realized then why he gave it to her. Not only to remember the past, but to remind her of what lie ahead.A crazy, beautiful,wonderful life. And with that thought, she wiped the tears from her eyes, turned off the light, and went to sleep.

Jake never came by.

Emily lingered in the kitchen, long after her mom left for town, but after two cups of coffee and a bowl of instant oatmeal, she headed out to the barn. He’d know where to find her. Besides, she couldn’t leave Ruby hungry and waiting.

“Mornin’, sweet girl,” she cooed, giving the horse an apple from her hand. “You know I’d never forget about you.”

Uncle Matty gave her the dapple gray mare on her tenth birthday. Tanner trained her himself, knowing who she was going to. A darker gray when Emily got her as a two-year-old, her coat changed drastically as the dapples appeared. Eventually, as Ruby got older, she’d likely turn all white.

“And you’ll still be gorgeous, won’t you?”

She made quick work of cleaning the stall and laid down a fresh layer of bedding. After giving her water and filling the feeder with a mix of hay and grain, Emily led her toward the door. “How about a little fresh air, huh? It’s cold, but you can run in the snow for a bit, then I’ll give you a good brushing.”

“Jake told me you were sad.” Billy stood with his hip propped against the wall. How long had he been standing there, watching her?

“I’m not sad, exactly.” With a pat on the rump, she sent Ruby out into the paddock. “I just…”

“I know. I miss you, too.” He pushed himself off the wall and came toward her. “So fuckin’ much. You have no idea.”

“I think I do.”

“Trust me, you don’t.” Billy shook his head. He picked up a strand of her hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “Baby, I’m dyin’.”

“Oh, Billy.” She took his hand, and kissing it, Emily held it to her face.

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