Page 45 of The Hardest Part

“But?”

“I feel…I dunno…guilty?” She drew her knees up, hoping to relieve the tightness in her chest, and returned her gaze to the window. “It’s like I’m betraying Billy. Trading one brother for the other.”

“It’s no such thing, Ems.” Arien got in her face, forcing Emily to look at her. “You’re a triad.”

“You ever feel like that?”

“Torn in two? Yeah, all the time.” Her lip disappeared behind her teeth as she slowly nodded. “But not between Kellan and Tanner. It’s my heart and my head that’s the problem. Because what feels right to me, the rest of the world sees as wrong. Maybeif I wasn’t an outsider, I wouldn’t feel like such a whore, and with my brothers to boot.”

“Stepbrothers.”Enough with that shit. Emily heaved a sigh. “Chrissakes, you didn’t even know ‘em six months ago, and you’renota whore, so don’t you dare think like that.”

“She’s right.” Kellan poked his head inside the door.

Tanner came in right behind him. “You’re just ours, little sister.”

“How long have y’all been out there eavesdroppin’?”

Kellan winked at her, strolling across the room like he owned it, and claimed the other spot next to Arien on the bed. “I know it sucks, Ems. It can feel like forever, but y’all are favored. Youwillget through this test, and that’s all this is.”

He stopped talking long enough to kiss his stepsister, his hand snaking beneath her shirt to fondle her breast. “It’s your time to know Jake.”

“I do know him.”

“Not like you know Billy,” he countered, and stretching his arm out behind Arien, Kellan poked her on the shoulder. “And I ain’t talkin’ about his dick here, neither.”

“Jesus, Kellan.” Arien smacked him.

“Hush now, baby cakes. It’s all right.” He took Arien’s hand, and holding it to his chest, leaned forward toward Emily. “You deserve to know all of him. He deserves to know all of you, too. Look inside every part of that man of yours—mind, body, and soul. What are his dreams? His fears? His strengths? What’s his weakness? See, you and Billy have already done all that. Jake loves you, Ems, and he’s been waitin’ for you a helluva long time. He’ll tell you everything there is to know if you listen.”

Wow!

All this coming from a man who typically spoke in grunts and one-syllable words, Emily took what he said to heart. “Since when did you become Yoda?”

“Heh.” Kellan shrugged, his cheeks turning pink.

“I love y’all,” she said, climbing over Arien to kiss him. “I should get goin’ before Grams gets here and make myself pretty for my birthday dinner—act all surprised and shit.”

“Yeah, ya brat, you should. C’mon, I’ll walk you out to the car.” He got up to go with her, Tanner taking his place by Arien on the bed. Kellan paused, tracing his finger up the sole of her foot, then said, his voice husky, “And don’t you go nowhere.”

“You happy, Kel?” Emily asked once they were outside.

“Arien’s here. I’m happy.” His head bobbed, blond hair falling in his eyes, but as much as he tried to, Kellan couldn’t contain his grin. “You know I love ya, right?”

“I love you, too, even though you can be a real motherfucker sometimes.”

“Auntie Kim needs to wash that mouth of yours.” He chuckled, opening up her Mustang. “Look, I know it’s hard, but nothin’ worth havin’ comes easy.”

“Loving themiseasy.” She got in. “It’s the stupid rules that are hard.”

“I know.” He held onto the roof, hanging his head inside the window. “And more so for Billy than anyone. So, when Jake is kissin’ on you, make sure Billy knows how much you love him, that you yearn for him too, and not just with your words.”

“I can’t touch him. They’re all I’ve got.”

He backed out of the car and winked. “There’s ways of touchin’ without touchin’.”

“So I hear.” Emily giggled, then chewed on her lip. “Can I say something?”

“Could I stop you?”

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