Page 44 of The Hardest Part

His mouth quivered and he began wringing his pinky again. “That means we can get started on your flowers soon.”

She placed her hand on his to save his poor finger. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” And with her palm in his, Billy squeezed it. “Nothin’s gonna change, Em.”

Then why did everything feel as if it already had?

“C’mon, give me a kiss now.” Billy smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were gray, like Jake’s, except for a dark ring that circled the irises. Had she ever told him how beautiful they were?

He dipped his head, and threading his fingers into her hair, gently held her cheeks. Their lips met, his tongue touching hers,and Emily’s tears began to flow. Her hands roamed to every part of him she could reach, memorizing the feel of his hard, sculpted body beneath her fingertips.

Fuck these stupid rules. It isn’t fair.

Who made them up, anyway?

All too soon, it was over. Still, her lips remained on his. They tasted salty, and whether the tears were hers or his, she couldn’t say.

“I gotta go, babe.”

Nooo.

Emily couldn’t bear even the thought and held him tighter.

“Please, don’t make this any harder.”

One minute before midnight, Billy texted her.

Just remember I love you, baby. I’ll be kissing you in my dreams.

Jake’s text came a moment later.

She read it and cried herself to sleep.

But Emily wasn’t sleeping now. She was wide awake. And this was not a dream. With her ass planted on the granite-topped island, her legs squeezing his like a vise, Jake was here in her kitchen, kissing her.

She’d dreamt of it all of her life. Loving him and Billy. Being loved by them. So, why did she suddenly feel out of sorts, as if enjoying the kisses of one brother made her disloyal somehow to the other?

With her heart splintered into two jagged pieces, she wondered if her mom had ever felt like this. Grams? Arien? Of all of them, her step-cousin would best understand.

After a breakfast of kisses and heart-shaped blueberry pancakes, Jake left for work and Emily left for her uncle’s house to pay Arien a much-needed visit.

She walked right in and ran straight up the stairs to the room across the hall from Kellan’s. Arien looked up from her laptop,and a smile lighting her pretty face, she patted the space on the bed beside her. “Happy birthday, Ems. You’re early. Grams isn’t even here yet, and she’s helping me do the cooking.”

Sunday dinner at the ranch.

“That’s okay.” Emily grabbed her cousin’s hand, kissed it, then held it at her side.

“Tanner and Kellan are still out mucking around with the cows, or whatever it is they do,” she said with a giggle. “And I haven’t seen Billy or Jake yet today, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“That’s not it.” Exhaling with a sigh, Emily stared out the window. “I saw Jake this morning.”

“Eek,” Arien squealed, clapping like she’d won tickets to see a Taylor Swift concert or something. “He kissed you, didn’t he? Was it wonderful?”

Her gaze went from the paddock outside the window to her cousin.

“That’s a silly question, huh? Course, it was.”

“Mmhm, it couldn’t have been more perfect, but…” Emily paused to swallow. Was it awful of her to even say it?

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