Page 43 of Hush 3: Hidden Family

I’ve been to her performances. I’ve been to the house in Boston just to be near her for a night. Annabella hates it when I ask her to slip Sim sleeping aids for my visits.

I have only asked on our anniversaries. For one night, I climb into the bed with my wife to hold her in my arms. When the morning comes, I leave her a gift and disappear as if I was never there.

It might sound crazy and creepy but it’s the only thing that keeps me sane while I deal with the reality of our life here in Italy. It is almost that time of year again and I long to hold her in my arms.

“Michael, can I ask you something?” she says, grabbing my attention.

“Yes,cara, ask me anything.”

“When can I come home? I miss … I miss home. I want to talk to you in person. I have enjoyed our calls, but I want to see you face to face in real life. Did I do something wrong?”

“No. You’ve done nothing wrong. I want to see you too. I’m just not sure this is the time. Things are still complicated here.”

It’s the truth. Leonardo is still a problem, and the other families are still lending him support. The attempts on her grandfather’s life are starting to wear him down.

I have taken on more and more of his responsibilities. In the last three years, I’ve been establishing myself with his men and their crews. It’s a precarious balance we have to strike to keep everyone thinking I’m the oldest son of Angelo Donati Jr.

It’s not time to tip the scales and reveal our hand. For now, everyone believes Uri and I are one. This has worked in our favor in a number of ways. Believing Hush is one man who has struck fear around the world.

Don Locatelli still won’t give us the green light to end this bullshit. I grow tired of it, but I’m a man of my word. I have done what I promised I would seven years ago.

Sim’s sniffles pull me from my thoughts. I focus back on the screen and my heart squeezes. Her hair is now covering her face, but I can still see tears have filled her beautiful eyes. Those sexy lips of hers are trembling as she tries to hold them back.

“Please don’t cry,cara. I thought you were happy there. You will be graduating soon, and you’ve been offered two jobs. Mylittle principal dancer, or do you plan to join the orchestra, my little pianist?”

“I want to do whatever will bring me home,” she says.

“There is nothing here but danger. I know you know what it is I do. You are not meant for this world.

“I want you to be safe and happy. Remain in the light of the world. This … all of this is such crap. I lose another piece of myself every day. Please, my angel, remain where you are safe and happy,” I plead.

“You keep me here because I am not like you?”

“Yes, I would rather you never come back and enter this world. Someday, you will have to, and I hate that.”

“I understand. I still wish I could see you.”

I pull a hand down my face to keep from telling her that I’ll be there for our anniversary. Knowing that I have fallen in love with her has made it clear I won’t be able to leave if she has another meltdown. This concerns me.

“I will call you tomorrow. I lo … I will talk to you then.”

“Okay, Michael. I will talk to you then.”

The call disconnects and I close my eyes. What am I thinking? I almost told her I love her.

I take a breath as I begin to think about how I got here. How did I end up falling for her? It’s the unfiltered way she sees life.

It’s in the way she’s straightforward and doesn’t tell me what I want to hear but exactly what I need to hear—the unfiltered truth. It’s in the way she brings a smile to my face on my worst days. I have never tried to change her, but she’s always changing and adapting to her surroundings to, as she says,do her best.

I don’t think there is anything Sim can’t master. However, my thoughts remind me of a few months ago when she was upset about the other dancers trying to sabotage her. I had to explain to her why we don’t kill just anyone who makes us angry.

I had to think out a list of reasons and guidelines for deciding who deserves to be erased.

Love and relationships are a bit more complicated. I wouldn’t know how to address that. If I unintentionally hurt her, I would be devastated.

I have to spend so much time away from her. The restraint I show in reference to relationships and intimacy is taxing enough. If I allow myself to grow these feelings that’s only going to make things harder for me.

I never considered my deep-rooted loyalty when I agreed to marry Symphony. Once I make a commitment, it is set in stone. As a result, I have never been able to allow myself to bed another.

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