Page 72 of Collect the Pieces

It’s as if the laughter’s infectious. Once I start, I can’t stop. I pause for a breath, then Shelby’s giggles set me off again. Behind me, Jigsaw rumbles with laughter. Rooster’s deep bellows add to the merry soundtrack.

“My zipper broke. My damn sweatshirt wasn’t long enough.” Birch’s outraged voice barely carries over all the noise.

Tears leak out of my eyes, and I can’t catch my breath. The giggles just keep coming every time Birch says a word.

He knows it too and starts drawing out the story, adding more and more absurd details.

Shelby falls against me, shrieking with laughter.

“You weren’t wearing underwear?” Sparky shouts.

“Nooo,” Birch answers slowly. “I got dressed quickly that morning. Had my super-warm fleecy pants. Didn’t think I’d need undies.”

Undies.He didn’t. This guy, who’s as big as the tree he’s named after, said the wordundies. I can’t. A few more snickers tumble past my lips.

Slowly, I catch my breath and sit up. Shelby’s wiping beneath her eyes. Anyone not still caught in a fit of laughter has their attention focused on Birch.

“Wait,” Lilly says. “Obviously it was an accident. That’s not nice that she yelled at you.”

“Awww!” Some of the guys heckle Lilly for being too soft.

“I mean, IknewI was cold—downthere.” Birch gestures to his crotch again. “I should’ve checked sooner.”

“Probably the first cock granny had seen in years,” Hustler says. “Shocked her.”

“Probably the ugliest too.” Stash grins. “Gave the poor old gal nightmares.”

“So, after she yelled at you, what happened next?” Hope asks.

“Are you sure you don’t miss being a lawyer?” Wrath lifts his chin at Hope.

“What?” She gestures with one hand toward Birch. “I need the mental image of him standing there in the freezing cold with his privates on display resolved in my head.” She taps a finger against her temple.

“We all need it scrubbed from our brains,” Rock says in a dry tone.

“This issomuch worse than the time I went to Chemistry class with the back of my skirt tucked into my tights.” Heidi huffs a laugh.

“Thank you for the acknowledgments of my suffering, ladies.” Birch nods at Lilly, Hope, and Heidi. “Okay, so I’mstanding there, staring at my poor chilly willy, a teeny, tiny icicle dangling from the head.”

A few of the guys hiss in a pained breath or murmur “ouch” while the rest of us titter with laughter.

“I tried to turn and tuck myself away, but I slid…” Birch waves his arms in the air like he’s teetering on a ledge, trying to catch his balance, “…and fell in the snow dick-first.”

Another chorus of sputtering laughter pops off around us.

“I’m not ashamed to admit, I started crying at this point,” Birch says in afuck ittone. “My zipper was wide open, so not only was my dick cold but now all this snow and ice got pushed up against my balls.” His body trembles with a violent shiver.

“It just keeps getting worse,” I whisper to Jigsaw.

He hums a sound close to agreement. “I never knew Birch was this dramatic.”

Birch grins wide as his brothers hurl jokes at him. “Yeah, yeah. I finally dug myself out, tucked my dick away, took off my sweatshirt, and tied it around my waist.”

“Phew. That’s what I needed to hear,” Hope says. “Thank you!”

Birch glances at Lilly. “You’re right. I think when Grandma realized I hadn’t been doing the pervy swagger up the sidewalk on purpose, she took pity on me. Invited me in, gave me a pair of too-small sweatpants to wear, and fed me breakfast.”

“Awww, see, that’s what I was hoping happened,” Lilly says.

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