Page 30 of By the Letter

My heart leaped into my throat, and my eyes burned. I’d only come around to accepting I was having a baby. I’d yet to fully digest Roman was the father. If Wim had been some random man with no connection to me, it would have been a thousand times easier, but that wasn’t the case. I was having a baby with a man who thought very little of me, who’d damaged mewithout provocation and had decided who I was based on others’ opinions and not my actions. Now, he was standing in front of me, accusing me of being careless with our baby’s health. It was the cherry on top of the sundae. Of course he would think that.

I paused, thinking it through. Had I been careless? God, maybe I had.

I blinked at him, my nose twitching, the burn in my eyes overpowering. “I don’t want that. Thank you for looking out for Beanie.”

I was an expert at locking down my emotions, but my little passenger must’ve held the skeleton key. Suddenly, my floodgates were wide open. A torrent of tears and a raspy sob broke free. I covered my face with my hands, but not fast enough to hide what was happening from Roman.

“Shit,” he bit out. Then he was there, taking me in his arms, gathering me against him. My head only came to the center of his chest, but it was a pretty fine place to be. Broad and warm, his heart beat rapidly beneath my cheek as he palmed the back of my head, holding me there. “I’m sorry for coming in so hot, Shira. I panicked when I read about toxoplasmosis this afternoon. Who the hell would have thought that was a thing?”

“Okay,” I whispered.

His other hand rested on the middle of my back, his fingers spread wide. One reached the top of my camisole, gently stroking the bare spine between my shoulder blades. It was too intimate but familiar. Those huge hands had once been all over me.

“No, it’s not okay. You don’t need me storming in here, making you cry. We have to figure out a way to coparent this…Beanie.”

Another sob broke loose. That wasmynickname. I’d only started to say it out loud today. But my hormone-addled emotions liked hearing him say it, sharing that with him. How screwed up was that?

“You don’t have to hug me,” I said, though I wasn’t trying to move away from him.

“I know, but I made you cry. The least I can do is comfort you.”

That was what it took to finally snap me out of it. I slipped out of his embrace as memories of sitting on the bathroom floor after overhearing the things he said about me to Francesa came flooding in. He’d made me cry then too, and he certainly hadn’t comforted me. Maybe it wasn’t his fault he’d formed such a negative opinion of me, but that didn’t mean how he had treated me was okay. I’d watched my mother make excuses for a man who hurt her until she couldn’t do it any longer. I knew better than to follow that path.

“Thanks.” I wiped my tears with the back of my hand then wrapped my arms around myself. “I’m fine now. Don’t worry about me.”

A deep crevice formed between his brows as he frowned down at me. He seemed like he wanted to fight me on that but clamped his jaw tight and shook his head instead.

“All right. Show me where Mary’s litter box is and I’ll set this thing up.”

I led him to the utility room, pointing out the box and supplies on a shelf above it. He got to work on putting the massive robot machine together while I stood in the doorway, becoming increasingly doubtful this was a good idea. Mary was sweet, but she could be contrary. Like any girlie girl, she liked things just so.

“I’m not sure Mary will like this,” I stated softly.

Roman looked up from where he was crouched by the giant cat bathroom. “What’s not to like? The guy said this one has the best reviews. I looked, and it has the most features out of all the other brands. You can’t find anything nicer.”

“Mary’s a simple girl,” I said. “But she can be snobby about certain things. I tried to replace her old bed with an ultra-soft, luxurious one, and she clawed out all the stuffing.”

He scratched his head. “Is that normal?”

I shrugged. “It’s Mary. She’s very sweet, but she has a temper.”

“Is she going to be okay around the baby? If she’s violent, I can’t have her—”

“Don’t you dare.” My hand shot up between us, bringing him to a halt. “Mary is nonnegotiable. She may tear apart beds she doesn’t like, but she would never,everhurt a fly, much less a baby.”

For once, I made direct eye contact. My cat wasthatimportant. If this man thought he was going to come in and throw his substantial weight around, he had something to learn. I’d ship him off to Siberia before I got rid of Mary.

Something in Roman’s stance shifted. He exhaled as his brown eyes searched me, from my eyes down to my chest, which I felt flush from my indignation. He was giving me attention I didn’t want or like because I’d reacted to him. My skin prickled with awareness and unease. I didn’t think Roman would hurt me physically, but I certainly didn’t trust him. He’d taught me not to.

“Okay, Shira. I hear you. Mary stays.” He spoke to me carefully, like I was an injured animal. For my part, I wasn’t doing anything to alleviate that treatment. I backed out of the utility room, keeping a wary eye on him.

“You don’t have any say in that,” I managed to push out once I had some distance from him.

His eyelids lowered, and he exhaled. “I know that.”

“Good.” Swiveling, I returned to the living room. It may have been barren, but at least it was a wide-open space where I could be far away from Roman and his judgment.

Roman followed me after a moment, staying several feet away as he gazed at the blank walls. His brow pinched and mouth puckered like he’d tasted something bitter, then he smoothed his expression and turned to me.

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