Page 117 of By the Letter

His raw, unfiltered awe knocked the breath from my lungs. Fumbling for my phone, I took a picture of the two of them together, needing to capture this moment, though I knew I’d never forget it.

Roman eased into the chair next to my bed and held Jonah in front of him, scanning his swaddled body and little round face with reverence. Then, with a low chuckle, he lifted Jonah higher and rubbed noses with him, his tears finally breaking free.

“Heeyyy, Jonah,” he whispered, his voice thick and shaky.

I didn’t think I could possibly cry more, but seeing Roman look at the son I’d given him with unrestrained devotion sent me over the edge. These tears were mixed with laughter though, a release of joy the likes I’d never known. Unbound by the past, happiness that was free and clear and mine. Like Terry had told me, I grasped it with both hands and claimed it as my own.

“You look good together,” I managed to say around the lump in my throat.

Roman’s eyes found mine again, the same adoration he’d given Jonah now aimed squarely at me. “How is this possible?”

I pressed my lips together to hold back another sob. “I don’t know, but it is. He’s ours, honey.”

He brought Jonah to his chest again, then his head fell back against the chair, his breath hitching. “How could anyone ever walk away from this?”

“You and I willneverunderstand,” I vowed with conviction. Just as we would never understand how a parent could hurt their child. We didn’t have that in us, and I was glad we couldn’t wrap our minds around it. No matter what, Jonah would be safe with his parents.

“I love you, Roman.”

He gave me a watery smile. “Love you the most, Goldie.”

I took another picture of them and sent it to his brothers, Bea, and Clara, who were waiting with bated breath to hear news. Their replies were immediate—excited, overjoyed, flipping out—but they didn’t ask to come to the hospital, and I loved them for that. This time was ours to adjust to becoming a family of three.

For the next twenty-four hours, Jonah rotated between sleeping, nursing, and pooping, while Roman and I drifted through an exhausted haze of love and disbelief. Our smiles were constant, goofy things that appeared without warning for no reason other than we were deliriously happy.

Sooner than I expected, but nottoosoon, we were sent home.

Ben was waiting for us when we arrived, sweeping the door open to let us in. He planted a kiss on my cheek first, then gave me a big bear hug.

Pulling back, he ruffled my hair and grinned. “You’re a mom!”

I laughed, giving his solid arm a shove. “You’re an uncle!”

Ben rocked back on his heels, a pleased flush rising on his cheeks. “Wow. That’s right. Cool as hell, huh?”

I returned his grin. “I’m pretty happy about it.”

Roman put down Jonah’s car seat, and the brothers embraced, slapping each other’s backs and holding on tight. Ben murmured something in Roman’s ear, and Roman nodded, swiping at his watery eyes. “Hell yes, I am.”

Mary swirled around my ankles, drawing my attention. “Rrreowww,” she greeted.

“Hello, my little love.” I was finally able to bend down to pick her up. “You have a new brother, Mary. He doesn’t do much yet, but soon, he’ll be your best friend.”

She placed her paws on my chest, tilted her head as she examined me, then settled in. My stomach had shrunk a lot already, but there was still a perch for her to sit on for now.

Once Jonah was out of his car seat and Ben had scrubbed his hands under Roman’s supervision, he let him hold his nephew. Ben stared down at the little sleeping bundle, his look of wonder echoing the ones Roman and I had been wearing since yesterday.

“Hey, buddy. It’s your favorite uncle, Benny.” Ben sniffed, squeezing his eyes tight. “You might get confused because your daddy and I have the same face, but here’s a hint, I’m the more handsome one. Plus, I’m a lot cooler.”

Roman groaned, but his smile matched mine. Ben was just the first in a long list of people who were going to love this boy simply because he was ours. How lucky was he? He would never know anything else.

Ben continued his conversation with Jonah. “But you’re going to love your daddy the most anyway. Take it from me; he’ll love you no matter what you do. You might make some dumbmistakes, but he’s gonna have your back, little man. And your mom, don’t even get me started. That woman carried you around in her body. Do you know how small she is? But she never complained because she loved you from the very start. What a great life you’re going to have, pal. I can’t wait to be a part of it.”

Roman put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Love you,” he said gruffly.

Ben grinned at Roman then me, his eyes glassy and bright. “I thought newborns were supposed to be small. This baby feels like a brick house.”

Weightless laughter floated out of me. “Well, he’s a Wells boy.”

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