Page 110 of By the Letter

“You really hurt me.” The plain, bare truth at the core of it all. She’d really fucking hurt me.

She took in a shuddering gasp. “I know that now, and I hate that I did. I baked your favorite muffins to make up for it.”

Arms outstretched, she offered me the plate, and I didn’t have it in me to turn her down. My body had become somewhat inoculated to her brand of cooking. I barely felt the burn when I swallowed anymore.

As soon as I took a muffin, she swatted it right out of my hand.

“You were going to eat that!” she cried, the plate slipping from her fingers.

“You made it for me,” I stated matter-of-factly. Itwasa matter of fact. She’d gone through the trouble of making food for me, so I was going to eat it, even if it caused irreparable damage to my organs. Between that and seeing her upset, the choice was obvious.

“Roman.” My name was a lament from her trembling lips. “Oh my god, Roman. I’ve been poisoning you—and you’ve let me!”

Glancing from the scattered muffins to Shira, who was more distraught than I’d ever seen her, all my residual anger fell away. Stepping over the muffins, I scooped her into my arms. She only wiggled for a moment before surrendering and melting into me, allowing me to cradle her.

I carried her through the living room, up the stairs, to my bedroom, and settled us on my bed. My legs were outstretched in front of me while Shira rested sideways on my lap, nestled against my chest. We had a lot to say, but right now, I needed this. A few minutes to ground myself in the feel of her, warm and solid. It’d been a few hours since she’d been here, and in that time, I’d convinced myself she was never coming back.

Her fingers curled into my shirt, gripping the material tight in her fist. Her other arm hooked around my neck, and those fingers slid into the back of my hair. I tucked my face into her crown and breathed her in.

“I thought my tastebuds were messed up,” she whispered. “But it wasn’t that. You were eating everything I made for you even though it was inedible because you didn’t want me to be upset. You even made your brothers eat it.”

I stiffened. “Who told you it was inedible?” If they’d upset her…

She tilted her head back to look up at me. “Bea. I think what she really said was they’re vile. I kind of think she’s telling the truth—which means you haven’t been.”

I’d have words with Bea. She cared about Shira, and she was a good friend, but I would not stand for—

“Roman.” Shira’s fingers lightly tapped my cheek. “I think you didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to be upset. And you made your brothers eat my cooking for the same reason. Why else would you have done that other than caring about me and my feelings? You do love me, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

I could have left it at that—the most important, bare-bone fact. But I knew my Shira needed evidence to support my claim. She had to know I wasn’t just telling her I loved her on some whim. Like any other major shift in my life, I’d thought it over until I was certain.

“I took my time getting there. As soon as you told me about our baby, my instinct was to be near you to protect you.Thatwas all Beanie, but once I got near you and we had time to actually get to know one another outside of our assumptions, it became all about you. It’s my fault for only verbalizing any of this now, but I guess in the back of my mind, I wasn’t willing to hear you say you weren’t there with me. I should’ve done it anyway,but that’s history. The fact remains: I’ve examined my feelings. When I say I’m in love with you, I meanyou, Shira—not the mother of my son,you.” For once, she was giving me her eyes, and I searched them for what I needed from her. “Do you think maybe you could love me?”

Her lips rolled over her teeth, and I thought I wasn’t going to hear it. For those few seconds, I decided to be okay with that. So long as she let me love her, we’d get there. She’d eventually feel safe enough with me to let herself fall.

But she swept away all my plans of winning her over with her sweet words.

“I love you too, Roman Wells.”

“Christ,” I breathed, my forehead falling to hers. “That’s all I want from you. You loving me and letting me love you.”

“You have it.”

“Then I’m content. So damn content.”

Her hand flattened on my jaw. “You’re always so careful with my feelings, and I failed in reciprocating that. I’ll be better about that. I want to take care of you the way you take care of me.”

“It’s okay. I don’t need taken care of.”

I never had. Even before our mother cut and ran, I’d always been the one to check in on my brothers. It came naturally to me in part, but even when I was a little kid, I thought I had recognized a void that needed filling—something our friends had that we’d been lacking. So, I’d filled it any way I could. These days, my brothers didn’t need me like they had back then, but when push came to shove, I was the primary support person. It made me feel purposeful, and I’d never once resented them for my position.

But the idea of Shira taking care of me? Yeah, I liked that, and if she wanted to give that to me, I wouldn’t turn her down. If we could get to a place where we leaned on each other, we’d be unshakable.

“No, it isn’t okay, Rome. I let you go for three hours believing your love wasn’t enough, and that’s just wrong. I didn’t identify the way you treat me as love because I’ve never had anything like this. Before I met you and knew you, I wouldn’t have even dreamed of knocking on a man’s door not knowing without question he would be happy to see me. I wouldn’t have been able to climb into his lap, sure he’d welcome me with open arms. I wouldn’t have fathomed a man would understand where my limitations came from and help me inch past them. Nor would I have imagined this man would be endlessly patient when I couldn’t meet his eyes then find a way for me to make it my choice.”

Her lips touched mine, a whisper of sweetness.

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