Page 102 of By the Letter

“You’re getting matters settled so you can take time off when your son arrives. That’s what is important right now,” he reminded me.

“Right.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “And getting the best deal I can for the employees of GoldMed. Vantage is jerking us around, trying to get away with cutting corners. Nate and I have made it clear what we need for this deal to go through, but they keep coming up short.”

He huffed. “It’s funny. You’ve done deals like this multiple times, and I’ve never seen you so invested in anything but the bottom line.”

“Right. You’re right about that.”

As much as it bothered me, there was something of my father within me. Investing in failing companies had become somewhat of a game to me, and taking care of the employees wasn’t my top priority.

When I’d first started at GoldMed, I’d come in hot on Shira, throwing her own words in her face—though I’d thought they were Frank’s—about not forgetting the human element behind the bottom line. While I’d never forgotten the human side, it had been far down on my list of considerations when I made business decisions—until now.

People were going to be out of jobs. There was no avoiding that, though I’d tried my hardest, and it bothered me more than I expected. I knew that was because of Shira.

“Shira?” Adrian asked.

“Yeah, Shira. She’s good. Like, good down to her marrow. It’s part of her genetic makeup. It doesn’t come naturally to me, but when I’m with her, I want to be better. I want to be good.” Puffing up my cheeks, I blew out a heavy breath. “What is that?”

He chuckled. “I mean, you love her, right? It’s natural for a man to want to be good enough for his woman.”

I wasn’t a man who moved impetuously. My decisions were carefully thought out, along with my emotions. I sifted through them, untwisting them from external complications so I could better understand how I was feeling and why. I’d done the same when it’d come to Shira. I’d parsed my feelings for my son from my feelings for her, finding the place she’d claimed in my heart stood alone. It would have been there without the tie of our son binding us.

“I do love her,” I admitted. “She hasn’t had it easy, and I’ve been a part of making it harder.”

“She told me some things about that.”

“You two are regular ol’ friends now, huh?”

He chuckled. “Are you actually jealous? That’s insane, Rome. You know that, right?”

“I’m jealous that you’re there and I’m here. I know you won’t swoop in and steal her from me, but I’d rather be the one holding her when she’s crying.” I paused. “Tell me you held her when she cried.”

“I did. I don’t know if I was good at it, but it’s hard to stand there when that woman is in tears. It does strange, painful things to my chest.”

I grinned. “That’s your heart, Ade.”

“Heart? What’s this nonsense you speak of?”

I could picture him grimacing. Adrian had a lot of good qualities, but being open with his emotions wasn’t one of them.

“It’s all right to care, you know.”

“I thought we were talking about you,” he intoned, done being the subject of discussion.

“We were.”

“All right. You miss your girl. Finish what you need to get done and come back to her. It’s pretty simple.”

“It should be,” I hedged.

“It is, so why do you sound doubtful?”

“I worry I started us off so wrong, she won’t ever be able to fully trust me. I think—no, I know I’m not good enough for her. Those are things I’m working on, but it’ll take time, and I’m not sure I’ll have it.”

“You can’t be serious. In what realm are you not good enough foranyone? Shira’s really great, and I finally get why you and our brothers are fully on her team. But, Christ, you’re the best man I know.”

“You know a lot of sexual deviants.”

He laughed dryly. “Don’t brush me off. Besides, sexual deviants aren’t inherently bad. You can stuff it with your puritanical bullshit.”

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