Page 99 of By the Letter

He took a step back, eyeing me warily. “I’m in a hurry, Shira.”

“As you said. But that doesn’t explain why you won’t even be polite to me. You’re in my home, doing me a favor, and you won’t even let me thank you. I know you don’t think I’m good enough to be the mother of your nephew, but this is the hand we were all dealt.”

His mouth opened and closed, then he scratched his head, something I’d noticed he’d do when he didn’t want to make eye contact.

“I never said that.”

“Not in so many words, no.” I raised my shaking chin, trying my best to say what lay heavy on my heart. “I know you think it, though. I’m used to people thinking the worst of me. It’s my own fault. It’s…difficult for me to be in new situations, especially with men, and I come off as cold. I’m working on it, but it takes time to undo a lifetime of hiding inside myself. I’m trying, though, for my son. I want to be the best mother I can be.”

Adrian shifted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. His mouth flattened into a hard line.

“I’m sure you will be,” he stated.

“I will be, you’re right. I had the best mother. She risked her life to keep me safe. And once we were safe, she never let a day go by without making me feel loved. She could sew any dress without a pattern and carry a perfect tune. My mother was all I had in the world. I don’t want that for Jonah. I want him to know his uncles, to be supported and loved by you guys.”

“He will,” he promised.

“I think he will,” I agreed. “I love that for him. So, so much. But that means we’ll be around each other for a long time to come, and I don’t want him to see his mother being ignored and set aside.”

Adrian started to speak, but for once in my life, I didn’t allow a man to interrupt me.

“I know you think I married Frank for money, and you’re right, I did.” He jerked back in surprise, but I was undeterred. “I was twenty when we got married, my mother was dead, I had next to nothing, and he promised to take care of me if I took care of him. My husband had been sick our entire marriage. I’d been his companion, best friend, and nurse. He was my protector, best friend, and benefactor. If that makes me a gold digger, I suppose that’s what I am. If that’s why you dislike me…well, I don’t know how to change that, Adrian.

“But no matter what I did to get here, Joanne Saltzman was my mother, so I know I’ll be a good one too. I will do everything in my power to be as good as she was. That means if my son’s uncle isn’t treating me right, as viscerally uncomfortable as it makes me, I have to say something. That means I am asking you to please find a way to get over your first impressions of me and take me for who I am standing in front of you.”

I sucked in a shuddering breath and clenched my hands at my sides so I didn’t tuck my hair like I desperately wanted.

“I care about Roman and Ben and Nate. I’m already madly in love with my son. I would like us to, at the very least, be civil around one another. For now, that’s all I’m asking—that we be civil.”

As I finished my speech, a sharp pain took the breath right out of my lungs. Doubling over, I clutched my belly and gasped.

Chapter Thirty-four

Shira

My son was tapdancing on my organs. Given who his father was, it shouldn’t have surprised me he had the power to beat me up from within. His jabs kept coming, making it impossible for me to take a full breath.

Firm hands took me by the shoulders, and Adrian’s urgent voice was next to my ear. “Christ, are you okay? Is it the baby?”

“I’m okay,” I wheezed. “He’s just going a little crazy right now.”

“He is?” One hand let go of me to hover over my stomach. “Is it…can I…?”

At the doubt coloring his words, I looked up at him. His brow was ridged in consternation as he stared at my belly.

“Here.” I took his hand and placed it where Beanie was kicking. The instant Adrian made contact, Beanie doubled his efforts, knocking the wind out of me again.

“Holy shit,” Adrian breathed. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. That’s him. That’s Jonah.”

“Yeah,” I quivered. “He’s on fire this morning. He doesn’t usually hit me quite so hard.”

Adrian seemed like he was in a daze for a moment, feeling his nephew for the first time. When I gasped again at another painful jab, he unfroze and took me by the elbow.

“You need to sit down. Roman will have my head if anything happens to you on my watch.” He escorted me over to my dining room table and gently pushed me down in a chair. Then he crouched in front of me, eyes like his brothers’ sweeping over me before landing on mine, filled with concern. “What can I do to help?”

I shook my head. “I’m fine, I promise. He’s just really active this morning. Probably telling me to chill out, which is a good idea.”

His brow pinched. “Christ, Roman’s going to kill me. The last thing I intended was to get you riled up.”

---