Page 72 of By the Letter

Sorry for falling asleep last night. Thanks for not letting Ben draw a mustache on me. You’re always looking out for me.

Yours,

Shira

Shira,

Mary jumped out of a pile of towels again this morning. We’re back to where we started. No worries about me usurping you in her affections. You’ve got her locked down. I’m just her unwitting victim.

I’d rather wear a mask. I seem to have really good luck wearing masks.

Come over to my place tonight. Ben’s out of town with his team. No danger of mustaches. You can fall asleep without any worry.

See you then.

X,

Rome

A month flew by. In that time, Kit and Elliot welcomed their baby girl, Brooke, into the world. They weren’t ready for visitors yet, but Kit and I talked often. She was adjusting well, going from two to three little ones, and proclaimed it had a lot to do with Elliot being a rock star dad.

I was beginning to believe I would have something like that with Roman too. His interest in our baby had been constant since he’d found out, and his caretaking was so steady, I didn’t doubt it. It was like he couldn’t help himself. Even though I’d promised I wouldn’t, I’d let myself get used to it. When it came down to it, I simply couldn’t see him leaving me high and dry. And if he did, I’d be able to take care of Beanie and me, so leaning on him wasn’t as scary as it could have been.

Briefly, I wondered what Frank would have thought if he saw me now. Our marriage had never been meant to produce babies or be a fairy tale. We’d been companions who had understood what we’d been and what we’d never would have.

If I knew my late husband, he wouldn’t have been overjoyed I was no longer at GoldMed, but I thought he’d be happy seeing me on the verge of motherhood. He’d always been contrite for taking most of my twenties, but I’d known what I’d signed up for, and that meant leaving behind my illusions of a conventional happily ever after.

Roman appeared in the doorway of my bedroom as I was slipping on the Denver Mountain Lions jersey he’d given me. He leaned against the jamb, folded his arms, and drawled, “Heeyyy, Goldie. I like seeing you wearing my team's colors.”

I gave him a soft smile. “Hey, Wim. Do I look like a real rugby fan?”

“Don’t know about that, but you are cute as a button.”

Tonight was the night we put my auction win to use. We were headed to my first-ever rugby game, and we were doing it in style. His brothers would be in the box with us, as well as Clara,Jake, and Bea. I was looking forward to the game, but it was the food I’d truly been fantasizing about.

Straightening, Roman approached me, his head cocked. “You looked like you were deep in thought.”

“I was.” I pushed a small gold hoop into my lobe. “Just imagining what Frank would think about where my life is.”

His fingers flexed on my belly. I flicked my eyes up to his face, and his jaw rippled. “Do you miss him?”

“Of course I do. He was my husband, Rome.” I turned away from him to put on my other earring. “I know you think I was only with him for his money, but that isn’t true. I cared for him deeply.”

It hadn’t been a love match, but I’d spent nine years with him. If I hadn’t come to care for him, what kind of person would I have been?

“Sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask. Why wouldn’t you miss him?” He dropped his hand from my belly and took a step back. “The car’s waiting for us. Are you ready?”

“Just need to run to the restroom.”

He nodded. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

A few minutes later, I climbed into the limo parked by the curb. Roman was sitting on the far side of the cushy bench, a can of beer in his hand resting on his thigh. Things seemed unsettled, and since conflict made me want to run and hide, I couldn’t resist the urge to fix it.

“My mother worked for Frank. That was how we met.” In my periphery, Roman went solid. Hereallydidn’t like hearing about Frank. “She cleaned his house and ran his errands. Then she got sick, and I had to quit college to take care of her. We needed money, and Frank had adored my mom, so he hired me in her place.”

I picked at the hem of my jersey, wishing I was talking about anything other than this. I would have much rather told Roman about the good parts of my mom, but that wasn’t for today.

“She went fast. So,sofast. Then I was alone, and I couldn’t stay in our apartment without her. Frank paid for my mom’s burial and asked me to move in with him. I was in no position to say no, and I didn’t want to. I was adrift, and he offered me safe harbor.”

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