Page 43 of White Room Virgin

Martin’s words, “Don’t worry about it,” echoed in my mind.

Easier said than done!

I found it surreal that Martin and I had similar upbringings. It seemed to me that he had turned his back on faith. It had been him who had encouraged me to go home with Daniela. If alcohol had not been involved, I could have suppressed my desire for love and tenderness—for my own good and the good of everyone else.

More images flashed in my head.

Lucien’s embrace.

Our kiss.

His glowing green eyes.

And now I’m getting hard too!

My heart was racing faster than the trio could ever have played.

I would never be able to laugh about it!

I would never be able to get over what had happened––neither the thing with Daniela nor what I had let Lu do to me.

“Jonah!”

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even notice that the concert was over. I bounced one leg nervously and stared again at Lu’s picture on the wall to my right.

“Stop it!”I shouted at myself as I stood up and followed Simon to the checkroom.

“Wasn’t that your roommate?” Simon asked as we left the exhibition.

“Yes,” I replied curtly and tugged my scarf over my chin.

“Then that was his painting?”

I just nodded and let out a grumble.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Simon put on his cap. “I really would have liked to have a chat with him. It’s too bad he’s already gone.”

“Why do you want to talk to him?”

“Well, he’s your roommate after all. And the last time I saw him, he was pretty… unresponsive.”

My thoughts went back to that morning when I helped Lu up the stairs after Mass. A cold shiver ran down my spine.

I am going crazy.

“He wasn’t responsive today either,” I said angrily and picked up the pace.

“Uh… hey!” Simon called out and hurried after me. “What’s the rush? Shall we go for a drink?”

Surprised, I stopped and turned to him. “Why?”

Simon laughed out loud. “Well, because that’s what you do.”

Of course.

Besides, the thought of going home wasn’t particularly appealing either. So we went to the nearest café.

Contrary to my expectation that Simon would bother me with unpleasant questions, he simply engaged in conversation about the matinee and mentioned the films currently showing at the cinema. Somehow I envied him. It was a mystery to me how he could seemingly go through life completely unperturbed. Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer and asked, “How do you balance your faith and science?”

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