Page 74 of White Room Virgin

Lu grimaced and inhaled a nervous drag on his cigarette. He glanced up at me again. “You’re not his replacement.”

“You already told me that yesterday.”

“I just wanted to make it clear again. You’re really important to me, Jonah. And … I was also so confused because I … fell … in love with you.”

The weight of his words took time to sink in. I stood there, stunned, my gaze fixed on him. I struggled to find the right words in reply. It dawned on me that my feelings for him ran deeper than I had felt before, yet I knew I had much to learn before expressing them as effortlessly as he did.

He seemed to be amused by my awkward manner. His face brightened again and he beamed at me with a broad grin. “Come on, be honest. You’re into me, whether you want to admit it or not,” he remarked. Satisfied, he stubbed out the cigarette and set the ashtray aside. “You should be proud of yourself for finally acting on your own feelings.”

I felt a little offended but was relieved that the gloomy mood had passed.

“But I’m not gay,” I replied emphatically.

“Oh yeah, then where’s your girl? Because I don’t see one here.”

“Stop it!” I demanded. “I just … like you. I also would if you were a woman. It’s not my fault you’re a man.”

Lucien appeared surprised at first, then attempted to stifle his laughter. But my serious demeanor made it impossible forhim, as he burst into such hearty laughter that he clutched his stomach and fell sideways onto the pillow. When I saw his white teeth flash, I remembered the photo hanging on the wall in his room. The photo of him and Phil, where he was also laughing so hard you could see his teeth. It was the first time he’d laughed like that for me, so I went to him and knelt down next to him. He calmed down again and sighed.

“No, please,” I said. “Don’t stop laughing.”

He dragged me on top of him and kissed me passionately. I resisted at first, but when he stopped and looked at me, I wanted more. I hesitantly touched his beautiful lips. “You know,” I said softly, “I meant it back then when I asked you what you wanted from me.”

He stroked my cheek tenderly. “Everything. I want everything from you. Your heart and your soul.”

The gravity with which he uttered those words sent a shiver down my spine. “You are the devil.”

“Maybe…” He laughed and grabbed between my legs. “But you really aren’t an angel either.”

***

I didn’t return to the shared house until evening. As Martin stepped out of the shower, adjusting the towel around his waist, I closed the door behind me. He regarded me with a puzzled expression.

“Hello, could it be that you were home yesterday?”

“No … well … yes,” I mumbled and wanted to disappear into my room.

“Wait,” he said suspiciously. “What have you been up to?”

Up to?

The scorching heat rushed into my head, leaving me dumbfounded as I stared at him. “I didn’t … do anything.”

Martin narrowed his eyes, as if he was scanning me from top to bottom for lies. I was definitely now blushing as I gripped the doorframe.

“I … was with Lu … in the studio,” I mumbled.

God, why are you telling him this?

Martin smiled mischievously and pushed back his wet hair. “Is he still there?”

I frowned, unable to get another word out.

Could it be that he …

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

My jaw dropped. I had summoned up all my courage to make it clear to Lucien that I wanted to be with him. The fact that Martin was so relaxed about the whole thing really upset me.

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