Page 51 of The Embrace of Evergreen

“We are. We just need to throw out all of the painting trash, and we’ll be right behind you,” Blue half yells in response as he walks down the hall to grab the last of the butcher paper drop cloths, leaving me and Gabriel alone for a moment. He watches Blue disappear down the hall with a look that’s almost wistful, and a part of my heart breaks at the fact that, in a way, we’re leaving him behind on his own.

“You sure you don’t want to stay in with us at home tonight?”

“No, babe, I’m good. I’ll see you in the morning, though, huh? I’ll stand half-naked in the kitchen and try to pick up a hot, sweaty mover.” He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

I pull him into one more bone-crushing hug before he clears his throat, kisses my forehead, and spins toward the door without a word. I don’t follow him. He needs to handle such a big change in his own way.

I’m stacking the last of the paint cans by the door to be taken to storage with a few other things once the movers are finished tomorrow when Blue joins me. I pull him into my arms, and he settles back against me, vibrant blue hair tickling my cheek as we look around the now emerald-green living room. The place needed some work when we found it a few months ago, but we’veworked hard refinishing the bamboo floors and tearing out old, damaged moldings. Blue even commissioned a fellow artist who specializes in stained glass windows to replace the broken kitchen clerestory windows with custom glass, filled with forest scenes. It’s taken a lot of time and effort, but we’ve done everything together. We’ve created a place we both love.

We’ve created a home.

I don’t believe that time heals all wounds.

What I do believe is that often, the passage of time allows us to learn to live with them. I will never be the man I was before my mom died, before Jordyn didn’t want me, before I left home. I won’t ever be the man I was before I learned of Jordyn’s passing either. Right now, I don’t know exactly who I’ll be once the pain of his loss fades to a dull ache, but that’s okay because whoever I become, I know that I’ll be right here, standing with Blue by my side.

I know that no matter what happens in the future, I won’t try to outrun my loss or pain or fear. Running didn’t take those things away when I was a young man; it only led to years of loneliness and longing. For the rest of my days, I’m going to try my best to hold Blue closethrough any storms we might encounter, and I have hope that we’ll come out the other side together.

Jordyn was my first love. He will always be my first love, and I will always feel that the world is just a bit emptier than it was with him in it. I don't believe his loss was a sacrifice that needed to be made for Blue and me, or Jayce and Namid, to find happiness. But I like to think that wherever he is in the universe, whatever magic he found when he left us, he made sure to send just a little extra our way. Just enough to make sure we were happy. Just enough to convince me that, just maybe, not everything needs a concrete explanation. Maybe sometimes, it's enough to simply accept happiness when you stumble onto it.

I've never believed in magic or the mysteries of the universe or the idea that some things simply fall into place the way they're meant to.

But who knows…maybe that Marigold lady was right. Maybe magic does exist.

To be continued...

Max

“So, how are your boys doing these days?” Marigold sips her bellini with a knowing grin. It’s her default setting, and I can’t blame her for that. She knows better than I do just how wonderful Blue and Ethan are for one another.

“They’re perfect together. Ethan is still grieving, of course, but grief doesn’t have any specific schedule or pattern, and Blue will no doubt continue to help him through it.”

“I knew you were right the moment I met them at the festival. There is just something about them that feels as if they were made for one another.” She picks through the bowl of fruit in front of her for a moment before plucking out a blueberry and popping it into her mouth with a contented smile. Though she’s spent most of her life without any successful personal, romantic relationships, Marigold has always been entranced by the concept of true love. The idea that some couples seem almost supernaturally made to belong together makes her soul soar. She’s always said that living vicariously through others has brought enough joy into her life, even though I know she’s still holding out hope she’ll find love one day too.

“I’m usually right about these things.” I wink and steal a strawberry from her plate.

Her carefree laughter rings out loudly enough that it almost echoes through the small café. “You know I’m never going to admit something like that.”

“You know,” I narrow my eyes with a playful grin, “I think you might be next.”

Her smile falters so briefly that anyone else paying attention to our conversation wouldn’t have even noticed. “You know that colorful, snarky man who accompanied Ethan and Blue when I read their cards is next, Max.”

I shake my head as the rush from my own bellini and the knowledge that the universe is a strange and wonderful place settle over me. “Oh, Mar. You know as well as I do that fate makes plans for more than one person at a time.”

---