“It’s my pleasure, sir. Loving Ethan is the highlight of my life.”
“Ken. Please call me Ken, and that’s…I’m more grateful to hear that than you’ll ever know. Ethan deserves nothing less than to be loved that way.”
Ethan steps close, wrapping his arm around my waist and pressing a kiss to my cheek as the kitchen falls silent. For a moment, there is only the sound of breath and the heavy weight of loss and love flowing through usas five near strangers stand together in the hope that maybe one day, what has started here tonight will grow into so much more.
“Well.” Jayce claps his hands together loudly, scaring all of us into jumping. High-pitched yelps dissolve into laughter as we all remember how to move once again.
Dinner is long and comfortable, and there isn’t a single burnt noodle in sight. We talk about Ethan’s work and travels, about the way Ken’s life had simply carried on after Ethan left, with little variation for nearly fifteen long years, aside from the excitement of Namid’s sudden and unusual appearance in his life. We talk about how each of us found our way to Seattle, all quietly hoping to find something different…something more.
We talk about my glass and Jayce’s sculptures. His all sold the night of the exhibition as well, but they were all older works that they’d shipped with them during the move. He’s working on a new line for a solo exhibition, andSky of Soulswill be displayed over the summer.
We don’t talk about Jordyn much, but there will be time for that later. Ken knows that his son has loved two men in his life, and he’s grateful that Ethan has gotten to experience what he and Katherine once had.
It’s late by the time Ethan and I are alone once again. He is quiet and introspective as we change andcrawl into bed, but his eyes are soft, and a smile that never quite fades plays at the corners of his mouth. We’ve made plans to head out to Ken’s home for Sunday dinner in two weeks. Namid and Jayce will be joining us as well, and I think that for maybe the first time in his life, the hope that Ethan has always clung to and believed in with all of his heart, no matter how hard it became, might not be necessary. For the first time, Ethan just might have everything he’s always wanted.
Epilogue
Ethan
Paint is everywhere, and I am clearly not looking at the start of a brilliant new career.
The stripe of deep-green paint on my cheek is still wet and slippery when arms reach around me from behind, and Blue’s chin comes to rest on my shoulder.
“I told you once that I was sure you must make at least some art once in a while. Turns out I was right.”
I laugh and wrap my arm back around his neck, holding him tightly against me so I can rub my green sticky cheek against his. We’re halfway between wrestling to see who can cover the other in paint faster and tearing off one another’s clothes to fuck on the hardwood floors when the front door slams.
“Gross. It’s a good thing you guys are moving out. I can’t handle any more of this smoochy-face nonsense.” Gabriel curls his nose up at us in disgust, but when he throws his arms around both of us, he ignores the fact that he’s risking getting paint on the designer shirt he deliberately wore so he couldn’t be forced to help in order to squeeze us both tight enough that I’m afraid he’s going to crack someone’s ribs.
Even though my dad, Jayce, and Namid’s place on the peninsula is beautiful, our life is in the city. I took Max up on her offer, and managing all the finances, grants, and business ventures of the combined gallery and four artist spaces that now make up Emerald City Arts keeps me busier than I’ve ever been. It’s different from anything I’ve done during the past decade. I’m no longer creating plans to help others follow their dreams and wishing them the best as I walk away. Instead, I’m front and center, watching artists and employees and, of course, Max, Emily, and Troy make their dreams come true every day. Blue still has his job at the Sky Lounge, but he only works part-time these days. He’s had a few collectors buy up the rest of his back-catalog work, and the one-time burst of income has allowed him to cut back in order to spend more time working toward a solo exhibition, and Max has one tentatively scheduled toward the end of the summer.
Blue and Gabriel have loved living together for the past six years, but after the fifth or sixth time Gabriel walked in on us in, let’s say, compromising positions, we decided it might be a good choice to get our own place.We found an apartment a few blocks closer to the outskirts of the city. It’s a lot closer to the ferry terminals and cuts half an hour off our trips to the peninsula on weekends, but it’s still walking distance to the hot shop.
Things between Dad and me are moving slowly. Not because either of us is unsure we’re making the right choice by reconnecting, but because we want to build a solid foundation as the men we both are now. Blue and I have been going out to spend time with him every two weeks. We spend those Sundays exploring new small towns and beaches and finding hidden forest trails to wander along before we join Dad, Jayce, and Namid to have dinner together as a family. Jayce isn’t much different than the boy I remember from my childhood. He’s quiet and strong and introspective, but his eyes are keen and filled with laughter, and once in a while, he’ll manage to have us all laughing so hard we’re fighting back tears. Namid is kind and thoughtful, and now that I’ve spent time with him and my dad together, it’s clear that he’s never taken my place. They have their own father-son relationship, and I’m grateful that they found one another when they were both so alone in the world.
Gabriel has come with us a time or two, and he fits right in as though he was always meant to be a part of our small group. Nothing about the time we all spend together is awkward or strained or uncomfortable. It’s new, and we’re all still learning to navigate what it means to have people who care after so many years on our own, but it’s good. It’s filled with hope and love and laughter and light, and after fifteen years of wandering andsearching for something indefinable and elusive, I’ve found everything I’ve always wanted. I’ve found a family.
Blue presses a kiss to Gabriel’s cheek. “We love you too.”
Gabriel sniffs loudly. “Ya, I know. What’s not to love?”
“Hey.” I shimmy around until I’ve loosened his octopus-like grasp. “You know we’re only ten minutes away, right? It’ll be like we never left, aside from the fact you won’t regularly walk in on us naked.”
“Ya, I know, but I sort of liked that part.”
He looks absolutely devastated until Blue reaches up and pinches his nipple.
“Hey!” He jumps away, rubbing his chest.
“Ashwipe.”
Blue just grins and reaches for his other nipple.
“Oiy. Fine. Since you’re just going to be mean to me, I’m going to leave. I’ve helped enough for one day, and I have a date.”
“Helped? You brought pizza and ate more than half of it yourself.” When he jumps away from Blue’s pinchy fingers, he lands close enough that I can lean in and kiss his other cheek while I tease him.
“Yep, and that was plenty of help. It looks like you guys are basically done here anyway.”