Page 15 of The Embrace of Evergreen

“The glass is a part of me. It clawed its way into my soul the first moment I laid my hands on a blowpipe and pair of crimps. My style has changed over the years, of course. It’s grown and shifted right along with me. It was generic and clumsy in my first high school art class. When I fell in love for the first time at nineteen, it was bright and vibrant. Wide rippling bowls and circularvases in golds and reds and vivid oranges, swirling colors and soft, rounded edges. When my heart was broken for the first time, I lost all of that color and found relief in tall, thin sculptures of black and white, vases with necks too thin to hold flowers, too fragile to hold water. When I was hurt…when I escaped, I created large wall displays with angles and points thin and sharp enough to draw accidental blood. These days, it’s a bit of everything. A compilation of everyone that I've been and everything that I've been through. It’s how I’ve learned to express myself. It’s my release and my comfort, my frustration and anger. It's my heart on my sleeve, my soul on display. I couldn't imagine my life without it.”

It feels like the breath has been knocked out of my lungs by the time he finishes speaking. Did he really just say all of that? Who hurt him, and what has he escaped? This is only the second time we've interacted, and it’s the first time we’ve met up outside of a professional setting. How is he capable of being so secure with himself that he’s willing to share such private thoughts with a stranger? I don’t understand how it’s possible for anyone to so clearly recognize all the small, contrasting pieces of themselves let alone how to find a way to accept all of them.

Blue

For the first time in my life, I’m happy when Gabriel prances over and plops down on the couch next to Ethan without asking for an invitation, effectively interrupting our conversation, because what in the ever-loving fuck did I just do? As annoyed as I’d usually be by Gabriel’s incessant need to stick his nose into my business, in this moment, I’m grateful that he somehow psychically realized I needed saving. He probably didn’t do anything of the sort; he just has good timing, but I’m thankful enough that I’m willing to give him credit he likely doesn’t deserve.

Did I really just sit here and word vomit my entire overly personal history with art? What is wrong with me?Art is a part of my soul.Who says that to the man they’ve been crushing on for weeks during their first non-business-related interaction?When I escaped…Did I honestly tell him that I’d been hurt, that I’d escaped from something? I’m such a fucking idiot. At least that kind of verbal chaos should be enough to keep him firmly planted in the friend zone of my life so that I don’t have to worry about the odd way I’m drawn to him anymore.

“Soooo…how are you boys enjoying your tiny cups of hot mud?” As he judges us for drinking espresso instead of the toothachingly sweet milk-based monstrosities he favors, Gabriel’s grin is so wide that I hope his cheeks end up hurting for days.

Ethan seems to shake himself out of the trance he’d fallen into while I rambled incessantly about glass being my soul or something equally as absurd, and he turns in his seat to face Gabriel a bit more. As I straighten back up and try to disappear into my cushy chair, I’m struck by a momentary sense of loss that makes no sense. I only shifted my torso a couple of feet. I’m still sitting in the exact same chair I was in thirty seconds ago, but somehow, accidentally laying out my soul for Ethan to examine as I leaned almost conspiratorially forward and searched his astonishingly green eyes made it feel like we were the only two people in the world, and even though I’m not the type of person who does deep connections, I instantly miss the intimacy.

Ethan clears his throat and glances at his two empty espresso cups before turning his gaze to Gabriel. “It was good, thank you. It always is.”

“And you? Are you enjoying the touch more sugar than you usually get? Should I assume you want it every time moving forward?” Gabriel teases me, his voice filled with laughter that I hope Ethan doesn’t catch. He’s notactually asking me how I’m enjoying the same sugarless coffee I have every day. He’s asking about the time I’m spending with Ethan.

“You can fuck right off is what you can do.” I snort derisively.

Even though I’m thankful he’s saved me from rambling anything else at Ethan, I can’t let him get away with taunting me about the crush I can’t seem to shake, especially not right in front of said crush.

Gabriel’s laugh is loud enough that half the shop’s patrons glance our way, and Ethan practically jumps in his seat.

“Is he this rude to you, or am I just special?” Gabriel asks Ethan, ignoring me entirely.

Even though a blush stains Ethan’s cheeks yet again, he quietly plays along. “It must just be you; he’s always been a gentleman with me.”

Gabriel’s laugh rings out once more. “A gentleman! In no universe is Blue capable of being mistaken for a gentleman. Less than a month and you’re already putting me on; cheeky bugger, aren’t you. I like that. It’s a good thing I came over to talk to you instead of Blue anyway.”

“You came over to talk to me?” Ethan almost squeaks.

The way such a tall, strapping man like Ethan can be soft-spoken almost to the point of sounding insecure shouldn’t be something I find so adorable.

“Of course I did, sweet cheeks. I’ve been working here for years, yet I’ve only seen you for a few weeks now, so would I be correct in assuming you’re new to the area?”

“Yes?” Ethan sounds like he isn’t sure that’s something he wants to admit until he knows what Gabriel’s endgame is. I don’t blame him.

“Annnnd…” The way he draws the word out doesn’t bode well for Ethan. He obviously has a goal in mind; I’m just not sure what it is quite yet. “Based on the fact Blue brought you that cute little vase there,” he gestures to the turquoise vase that sits on the table between our empty cups and an odd pile of shredded napkin, “I’m going to say that this isn’t your first chat.”

Ethan silently shakes his head, clearly still concerned about where this conversation is headed.

“You’ve been in here a lot this past month, and you’re always working so hard and looking so serious. Hell, even your beverages are bitter and sad.”

“Hey!” Ethan and I snip at him at the same time, which only makes Gabriel smile wider.

“You should come out with us Friday night. We have a small group, four or five folks, nothing too crazy,and Friday nights are friend date nights. We all go to a bar or a club or something and just relax and let loose.”

Ethan looks almost scared as he shakes his head. “That’s very kind of you to offer, but I don’t…”

“Blue will be there. Blue is always there. So you’ll know two of us. I promise we won’t leave you alone for a second.”

I know that smile. Gabriel thinks he’s won. When he turns his charm and sex appeal up a notch and directs them at unsuspecting prey, he usually wins. Secretly, I find myself hoping that he has.

Ethan shakes his head. “Really, I don’t think that…”

Gabriel sticks his lip out and pouts, actually honest to God pouts. It will work. When a tall, beautiful, god-like man offers you puppy eyes and pushes out his full lower lip in a pout, it always works.

Ethan cringes. “Where are you going, and what time?”

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