Page 39 of Doc

I can see why Carter would do what he is though, if even half the stories I’ve heard over the last few years are true. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if I would be as generous, making my doctors waste their time trying to save my abuser’s life if given the opportunity.

“Soren, daydream in your own time. Come help us move this fucker to a bed.”

Snapping to attention, I sidle up to the table and help with the transfer. “I’ll take the first shift,” Kail says as we adjust the bed and get De Luca comfortable. “You look like you need sleep more than I do.”

I want to protest, but I can feel the exhaustion weighing on me. I know better than to argue, in a matter of life and death such as this. Any fuck-up on my part can have dire consequences, I’m not stupid enough to risk it.

“Thanks.” I give Kail a small smile.

“We’ll make sure you’re set here before we head out,” Doc says, setting a hand on my shoulder and squeezing.

I lean into the touch, uncaring if Rose and Kail see more into the gesture than just innocent comfort; I’m too tired to worry about how our interactions will be perceived by others. After everything we’ve done tonight, showing a little affection is the least of my worries.

Doc lays his head on my lap as we share the cot in the corner of his office. It’s not exactly comfortable for either of us, but at this point we’re both exhausted enough that we can sleep anywhere.

Gently, I run my fingers through Doc’s soft hair. They snag a little in the tangled locks, but I try to be careful so I don’t disturb him.

The door to the office opens and I watch as Carter pulls on a disposable gown and heads to the sink to wash his hands. He forgoes the gloves and mask but I don’t say anything. We’re reasonably sure everything with De Luca is stable now, and well, if Carter wants to risk inadvertently making his father ill, who am I to say anything? As I’ve been made aware of, De Luca is Carter’s to do whatever he wants with.

I watch as Carter takes a seat at his father’s side, but makes no move to touch him, nor does he show any emotion. I can’t say how I would feel if our roles were reversed. My father and I might disagree about many things, and my childhood may be full of things I’d rather not remember, but I would like to believe I’d feel something more than the quiet apathy Carter shows.

Then again, Kail and Doc both shared some of what they know of Carter’s past, and the things they’ve said were bad enough, I can’t imagine how much worse the true story is. Growing up with Nikolai Petrov wasn’t easy. Any type of abuse is unacceptable, but at least my scars are only emotional and not physical.

“How much would it take to overdose him?” Carter asks in the quiet.

I shrug a little, even though his attention is still on his father. “Not much. We’re giving him more than we probably should be.”

“Why?”

“Because Doc said to keep him calm and comfortable. He’s older so it’ll take him longer to bounce back from this. Keeping him as sedated as possible will help with the healing process. Plus, Doc thought you’d want him to be…pliable, at least for now.”

Carter lets out a low, humorless laugh. “He’s not wrong about that. So, you’re saying I can ask you to…accidentally give him a little bit of the painkillers or sedatives and…”

He trails off but I answer him anyway. “You could. I’d do it, too.”

Carter looks at me now, and though the room is cast in shadows, the only light the dim ones at the edges of the room, I can feel his blue gaze searing into me. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“Because you’re the one in charge here. I know he’s your kill. Not only that, you’re an Amato—the mafia spouse—your word carries as much weight as the Boss’s.”

“Have you ever killed a man, Soren?”

“No, sir. Not for my father’s lack of trying though.”Just another way for me to disappoint him.

“Yet you would if I asked.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why?” he presses, and I take a long, slow breath.

“You’re the boss here, and because I think, whatever the history between the two of you, you deserve to get your justice, however that may look. I’m not here to question orders, sir; not unless they go against medical advice. In this case, I don’t think anyone would care if that happened.”

He’s silent for so long I wonder if I’ve overstepped. Finally, he says, “You’ll be good for him, I think. Don’t let him push you away. And take care of him. Doc means a lot to Cristian. I’d hate to see such a promising young man die too early because you broke our doctor’s heart.”

Looking down at the man sleeping in my lap, I can’t suppress the small smile that graces my lips.

“No, sir,” I say, almost too quietly. Running my fingers through Doc’s hair again, I tell him, “I’m worried what he’ll do to my heart, but it’s a risk I’ll die to take.”

“Good.”

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