Page 22 of Doc

“He’s my best friend,” I say without preamble, looking at Soren out of the corner of my eye.

“So he said,” he replies, leaning his arm against the doorframe and resting his hand on his face as he looks out the window. “It’s not just that though. There are so many reasons why it’d be a bad idea.”

“True,” I agree. “But I think you should give him a chance anyway.”

“My uncle would kill me if I lost my job because I slept with him.”

“I’m still here,” I point out. “We’ve been fooling around since I started working with him. There’s…there’s a pull between us we never tried to deny. It’s not love, not in the romantic sense. I don’t know how he feels, because we don’t talk about our relationship, such as it is, but I know I care about him, morethan I’ve ever cared about anyone outside of my brothers. It’s hard to explain.

“It’s not that I don’t feel things. I’m not Tennant Mason, for fuck’s sake. But… I don’t have the burning need to fall in love. If I did, it sure as shit wouldn’t be with Doc.” I laugh a little, just the thought of what a disaster that’d be is amusing.

“I’m not judging. What you two have going on is your business, not mine.”

Stopping for a light allows me to cast a glance at the younger man. He’s still looking out of the window, but his body isn’t as relaxed as he tries to convey.

“Cristian won’t fire you. He knows about me and Doc, obviously. It’s been ten years and we’re still working together. Not only that, he’d be a hypocrite if he tried to say it’s because Doc is your superior or whatever. One can say the Boss is superior to everyone, but that didn’t stop him from falling into bed with Carter.” Not to mention everything that happened afterward.

“If you’re not into him, that’s fine, but don’t get his hopes up for nothing.” The light changes and we start moving again. “I won’t be so understanding if you choose to string him along.”

Soren shifts in his seat and I can feel his eyes on me. “It’s not that either. It’s that Iwanthim. Probably more than I’ve wanted anyone in a long time.”

“And that’s a problem?”

He curses in Russian. “Yeah, it’s a big fucking problem. The things I want from Doc…they’re not for everyone. I’m not an easy lover. I expect a lot from my partner, and I don’t want to fuck up my job when he realizes it’s not really what he wants.”

“So this is about our relationship.” I cast a look at him for a moment as he shakes his head.

“No, I understand you get what you need from one another. I don’t need you to explain anything to me. Not only is it notmy business, but I get needing something…different than what people consider is the norm. I don’t give a shit about exclusivity. I expect my partner to be committed to me, but I don’t need to be their one and only.

“What I need is…” He trails off and swears to himself some more as he gets his thoughts in order. “What I need is to know my partner is mine. It doesn’t matter how many people they have in their life, when they’re with me, they’re mine. Period. Doc doesn’t seem to be the type to allow himself to get tied down like that.”

No, he’s right there. There’s not a monogamous bone in Ash’s body—even if he’d like to pretend there is. But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost.

“Do you know why we’re not together?” I ask.

“You’re aromantic, right?” he asks. “Tell me to fuck off if I’m overstepping, but one of my best friends is, too, and some of the things you’ve said is similar to how he described his feelings.”

I smile a little. “That, but that’s not why, not really. I might not have romantic feelings, but the idea of a relationship doesn’t scare me off. What does is Doc.”

“I don’t understand?”

We pull into the long driveway of the Amato main house as I say, “It’s simple, Doc is a lot. He’s moody and bratty, and a full-time job. Anyone who takes that bastard on will have to be a saint. I’m not that guy. I don’t want him to myself because I don’t have the right kind of…need or aptitude to put him in his place and keep him there.”

Parking the car, I look over to find Soren watching me carefully, his bright blue eyes full of interest. “I can fuck him into submission when he needs it, but I don’t want to take that on full-time, it’s not how I’m built. Something tells me you’re different.”

His pale cheeks flush, making his freckles standout more.Fuck, he’s adorable. I can see why Ash is attracted to him aesthetically.

“You don’t know me.”

“I’ve seen the way you hold yourself. The way you jumped in at the clinic from the start and took charge. I might not have seen you with Doc much yet, but he’s told me about you. He can feel the power and control you hold, and he wants to taste it. He’ll let you know if something isn’t right. You really think he can hold his tongue?”

Soren laughs. “True. I just… This job means more to me than you know. It’s my way out.”

“I get that. Maybe not as deeply as you, but my brothers and I weren’t born into this life. We chose it because we had limited options. You know the Amatos aren’t like other Families. You’re safe here and you don’t want to lose that, I get it.”

He nods. “Something like that. So much is riding on me making my own way in this world. I need to prove that I belong here. Getting caught with my pants down because my boss is…damn near my perfect type, isn’t a good idea.”

I chuckle a little at that. “Doc andgood ideaare antonyms, so I think I understand. But don’t string him along. If you don’t want this—want him—keep your hands to yourself.”

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