Page 22 of 10 Ways to Accidentally Fall in Love

“Okay, I’ll hold on to it for you,” he says. “Just text me if you need it.”

“While I’m inside the restaurant?” I question. “On my date?”

Brad shrugs, like it’s perfectly reasonable that I might need sixteen ounces of lube on my first date inside what appears to be a mom-and-pop Mediterranean restaurant.

“What, uh…what’s this guy’s name?” I ask, feeling slightly faint.

“Oh! Lewis. He’s five-foot-eleven, a self-described twunk, and he’s really excited to meet you. No green eyes, sorry about that. They’re uncommon, did you know?”

I did.

“Where’d you find him?” I ask, my concern starting to grow. Honestly, I don’t know why it took this long.

Brad waves me off. “It was easy. I just started a dating profile for you on three different sites, mined through about six dozen messages, and decided Lewis was the place to start. Do you know how many dick pics I got sent, dude? One was wearing a hat. The dick. Not the guy. Don’t worry—it wasn’t Lewis. Good luck!”

Brad shoves me toward the door, my thoughts stuck on themanydick pics he was apparently sent. In a single night. While trying to find me a date.

Was he analyzing which ones he thought would be best for me?

The idea is alarming. Oddly gratifying. More than a bit confusing.

The door to the restaurant jingles as I pass through. Belatedly, I realize I have no clue what Lewis looks like beyondfive-eleven twunk. As it turns out, it’s not difficult to spot him. He waves, a giant smile on his face. He clearly recognizes me. Which begs the question…

When did Brad get my picture?

I head Lewis’s way, my mind racing a mile a minute. Admittedly, I don’t have high hopes for this date, but I try my best to paste on a smile regardless. Lewis deserves me leaving everything else behind and making an effort tonight.

And, maybe, I deserve that, too.

“Hey,” he says, standing as I approach. “Joe, right?”

“Joey, actually,” I tell him, although it’s not even close to the first time someone assumed Joey is a nickname, as opposed to my legal name. “Joe is fine, though. You’re Lewis?”

He nods, his gaze raking over me as the both of us sit down. “Shit, you’re even hotter in person.”

“That so?” I ask carefully.

“Yeah. You could hardly see your face in your profile pic.”

What in the hell did Brad post?

“I’m glad you agreed to meet,” Lewis goes on. “It’s so hard to find guys who are into the same thing as me.”

I swallow, filled with equal parts dread and curiosity. Curiosity wins out in the end. “And, uh, what would that be?”

Lewis gives me a secretive grin. “Watersports.”

Oh, God. Oh dear God.

When I leave the restaurant three and a half minutes later, Brad does a double take.

“Dude, you’re done already?” he asks, eyes widening as I grab his arm. I lead him around the street corner, out of sight of anyone coming or going from the restaurant. In particular, Lewis.

“I told you I liked boating,” I say, letting him go.

He nods. “Yeah?”

“Which, I assume, you put as enjoying ‘watersports’ in my profile?”

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