Page 49 of In Plain Sight

“You do?”

He nodded, his eyes still on the label of his drink. “I grew up around a lot of drinking and seeing the adults in my life act like idiots every time they had a few stuck with me. And the no hangovers thing is a nice bonus.”

“Yeah, I’m a big fan of that.” I bit my lip. He’d shared something personal; maybe I could talk to him about a little of what was bothering me. “My friends drink a lot,” I said slowly.

“They do?” he asked when I fell silent.

“Yeah.” I picked at the label on my bottle. “I played hockey growing up, so partying and drinking was just what we did. Then we all graduated and started working and drifted apart. I found a new group of friends, and they drink just as much as my old hockey buddies. I didn’t really mind because that’s what I was used to, but I’m not really feeling that scene anymore.” I snuck a glance at him.

He smiled encouragingly, and that simple look helped wipe away the last of my doubt. I might not know Zander well, buthe was a good person, and he was willing to listen. He wouldn’t judge me.

“Like, the last time we went out I was told we were going to the bar to have a few drinks and maybe watch the game if it was playing. I got there and everyone was already on their fourth or fifth drink, and I spent the next two hours watching them get sloppy drunk and wishing I was anywhere else but there.”

“I like my friends,” I continued. “We’ve been tight for eight years, but I feel like I’m not really a part of them anymore.”

“You don’t?” he asked softly when I paused again.

“No. It’s been happening for a while, but it’s gotten worse in the last few months.” I sighed and took a sip of my drink. “Being on a completely different schedule from everyone sucks.”

“Yeah, that can be tough to get used to. Is it just your schedules that are creating this distance?” he asked.

I shook my head and sipped more of my drink. “I hooked up with someone in my friend group a while ago. It wasn’t serious, at least it wasn’t supposed to be, but things got messy when I ended it. She’s dating someone else, but it’s like we can’t be in the same room without there being all this crazy tension. I guess it’s pissing everyone off because I get left out of a lot of plans if she’s going to be there.”

“That has to hurt.”

“It does. I knew things would be awkward for a bit, but I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“You said it wasn’t serious with her. Did you date, or was it a casual thing?”

“Casual. It was supposed to be a friend’s with benefits arrangement.”

“And she ended up wanting more?”

“Yup.” I sighed. “I didn’t know this at the time, but apparently she had feelings for me before we got together, and I really hurt her when I broke things off.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Over six months.”

“And she’s dating someone now?”

I nodded. “They’ve been together for about three months now, and he acts like I’m some sort of predator, or like I’m going to try and steal her away from him whenever we’re in the same place. And instead of telling him to chill out or her to get over it, everyone acts like I’m the bad guy. And the worst part is that she’s really close with my best friend’s girlfriend, so he just lets everyone treat me like I’m some sort of villain because standing up for me would make waves with her.”

“Have you talked to him about this?”

My eyes landed on where he was running his finger over the rim of his bottle in a slow circle.

Zander had nice hands with long fingers, a wide palm, and a liberal sprinkling of dark hair on the back. They looked strong and capable, and I’d imagined what they’d look like wrapped around my dick more times than I’d ever admit.

“I’ve tried.” I tore my gaze from his hands, my neck and chest hot under my sweater. “But I’m not good at confrontation, not when it comes to my friends or family. I can put strangers in their place like it’s my job, but I can’t tell the people in my inner circle what I’m feeling or what I want without panicking.”

“Panicking like being afraid or having a panic attack?”

“Both.”

“Do you have anxiety?”

I nodded.

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