Page 19 of In Plain Sight

A snippet of my conversation with Sinbin flashed in my mind. Ivy knew I had certain proclivities and used Kinksters, but a JOI wasn’t what she was talking about. And it wasn’t like I was anything to Sinbin, I’d just gotten him off. “Nope.”

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Live like a monk. You’re young and hot and in the prime of your life. Don’t you get lonely? Don’t you miss sex?”

“Sometimes,” I admitted. “But it’s not like I never have sex.”

“Talking to strangers on the internet isn’t sex.”

“It’s shared orgasms. That’s pretty much the definition of sex.”

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to be in the same room for it to count as sex.”

“Fake news,” I said lightly.

“Don’t you ever want more?” she asked.

I loved Ivy, and she’d been my ride or die for almost twenty years, but I was getting tired of having this conversation every few weeks.

“No,” I lied.

Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to be in a real relationship. To have someone to lean on or come home to after a long day. Who would be there for me not just when things were good, but also when times were tough.

I’d almost had that with her, but we weren’t compatible as lovers, and it had nothing to do with my interest in kink and everything to do with me being gay.

Ivy was one of the few people who knew the truth about me. She’d figured it out while we were married, but instead of shutting me out or being angry at me, she helped me come to terms with it and kept my secret after we’d broken up.

Only her husband Mark, Devon, and Nate knew the truth, and I intended to keep it that way.

“You can still be with someone and not come out,” she said softly. “I know you’re not ready for that, but?—”

“Ivy,” I interrupted. “I love you, but please drop it.”

“Okay,” she said. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know. But you know why I can’t come out. Talking about it isn’t going to change anything, so it’s pointless to have the same conversation over and over.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“What are you doing on Sunday?” she asked after a few beats of silence.

“Not much. I have to help my mom with some stuff in the afternoon, but that’s it.”

“Do you want to come over for dinner? We can order from that Lebanese place you and Mark like.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. What time?”

“How about we say sixish? Will that give you enough time?”

“It should. Do you want me to bring wine or beer?”

“Beer. Maybe that same six-pack you brought last time? The sampler?”

“I’ll see if they’re still carrying it.” The pack in question was a summer promotion from a local brewery, so there was a chance they’d either sold out or had replaced it with something new now that it was fall. “Is there anything else you want if they’re out?”

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