Page 96 of It's Complicated

“That works when you’re a teenager, but we’re both adults. How could we have gone this long without realizing that dudes do it for us?”

“Because sexuality is a spectrum, especially bisexuality. Not many people fall in that middle area where they’re equally attracted to both. Most people fall closer to the extreme sides and lean more toward one gender over the other. It’s possible you’re both bi, but your attraction to other men is limited, so you didn’t realize it until you found someone who triggered it.”

“Maybe, but we’ve been friends for years. Wouldn’t we have felt something sooner if that were the case?”

“Not necessarily. Attraction is a strange thing. If you were both running on the assumption that you’re straight, then you could have either missed the signs that you felt something for each other or you really didn’t notice until something caused those feelings to come to the surface. It makes sense you wouldn’t think of him as a sexual or romantic partner if you’d never felt something overt for a man before.”

“That’s true. But what if we aren’t bi? I’ve tried to figure out if other guys do it for me, but there’s nothing. What if we really are straight, but we’re so close we’re mistaking platonic feelings for attraction? What if we get bored with this, or it stops feeling good when it’s not new and exciting anymore?”

“Is it okay if I ask you something personal?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

“Do you enjoy being with him?”

“Yes.”

“I mean physically. Do you enjoy it? Do you get off?”

I nodded, my neck heating uncomfortably under my shirt.

“I’m not saying it’s impossible for two straight men to enjoy sex with each other, but how plausible do you think that is in your situation?”

“What do you mean?”

“Before Jamie, did the idea of being intimate with a man turn you on?”

I shook my head. “It didn’t turn me off, but it wasn’t appealing in the slightest.”

“Has the excitement faded at all since this started? Are you enjoying it less the longer it goes on?”

“The exact opposite, actually.” I huffed out a confused laugh.

“Do you think it’s the same with him?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“So, maybe it doesn’t matter if you’re straight or bi if you have someone who makes you happy. Labels are only important if you want to be labeled. It’s no one’s business what your sexuality is, and you don’t owe anyone an answer if they ask.”

I bit my lip, digesting what he’d just said. “That’s a good point. I just don’t want to lose him if he doesn’t want more.”

“You and Jamie have one of those friendships that people spend their whole lives looking for. You complement each other,you take care of each other, and you love each other. Whether it’s platonic or romantic, that love is there, right?”

“Yeah, no question.”

“When you picture your future, do you see him by your side?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitating.

“And is he there as your friend or your partner?”

“Partner,” I said quietly.

He let me sit with that for a few beats.

“Telling someone how you feel is terrifying, especially when you have so much to lose. But you and Jamie have a solid base of trust and respect that most people in your situation don’t. I don’t know him nearly as well as I know you, but Jamie’s a good man, and I don’t believe he’d walk away from your friendship because things got awkward or tough. He’d work through it with you because you’re just as important to him as he is to you.”

“I was not prepared to be bitch slapped with all of this right now,” I said, my head spinning with all the truths he’d just dropped on me. “And I’m pretty sure that’s the most words I’ve ever heard you say at once.”

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