Page 48 of It's Complicated

But a part of me was worried it either wouldn’t last or he’d get tired of it and want to go back to the way things were.

I craved Jamie in a way that was almost scary. I’d always had a healthy sex drive, and most people would consider me sexually adventurous. I’d tried pretty much every position out there, even some of the crazier ones that tested the limits of my flexibility, and I didn’t deny my partners their fantasies or requests unless they crossed one of my hard lines.

Most of the time, when I indulged someone else’s fantasy, it wasn’t because I was jonesing to try it myself, but because it was a new experience.

I liked adrenaline. I liked things that made me feel good and gave me an extra hit of dopamine. Sex felt good. New and interesting sex feltreallygood.

That was probably one of the reasons I got tired of people easily and why I didn’t date. One-and-done was usually my thing, but I wasn’t against repeats as long as we were both on the same page and agreed it was just sex.

Jamie and I had been hooking up for almost two weeks, and every time was as intense and incredible as the first.

We weren’t even trying new things, just sticking to what we were comfortable with. But it never got old. Never seemed repetitive or stale, and I didn’t feel the urge to do more.

Did I want more? Absolutely. Did I feel like I was missing out by not doing more? Not even a little.

But how long would that last? I didn’t have a great track record when it came to my attention span, and I wasn’t the only one.

Jamie lived by the same rules as me. He always had. It was one of the things we bonded over when we’d first met. He was just as adventurous and experienced as me. How long would he be satisfied with the new status quo?

How long before he got bored? Or decided he’d experimented enough, and it was time to go back to being friends?

“Isaac.”

I jumped at the sound of Jesse calling my name, blinking dazedly as the world around me came back into focus.

Jesus, I’d really zoned out there.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern written all over his face.

“Fine. Just got lost in thought.” I smiled, but it felt more like I was baring my teeth at him and not an actual smile.

His look confirmed I wasn’t fooling him. “Are you sure? I had to call your name three times.”

“I’m fine.” I dropped the act. “Just zoned out there.”

He folded his lips into a tight line, like he was stopping himself from saying something.

“I’ve got some stuff going on. My dad is being his usually annoying self,” I lied, guilt churning in my gut.

My dad’s email was stressing me out, but that wasn’t what I’d been thinking about when I disappeared into La La Land and got lost in my head.

“That sucks,” he said, his expression shifting to one of sympathy. “Parents can be the best or the worst. It’s like there’s no middle ground.”

“Mood.” I shoved the balled-up coveralls I was still clutching into my bag so I could wash them. “Mine are firmly in the worst category.”

“I’ve got two who are in the best, and one who’s competing for the worst ever.” He smiled ruefully.

I didn’t know much about Jesse’s mother, just that she’d gone no contact with him and his younger brother four years ago. His parents were divorced, like mine, but unlike mine, his father had remarried, and Jesse’s stepdad was amazing. He loved Jesse and his brother, Adam, like they were his own, and the whole family was incredibly close.

I envied him and how he had his brother and an older stepbrother to rely on growing up.

Being an only child sucked, and it was worse when your parents put you in the middle of their problems and used you to try and control and hurt the other.

“At least it reminds me why I’m never having kids,” I said. “Made that decision eons ago and never looked back.”

“Hard same.” Jesse pulled open his locker. “It’s easier for me since I only have sex with men.” He waggled his eyebrows. “No oopsies when there’s only dicks involved.”

“I got that issue fixed when I was nineteen. No oopsies for me, either.”

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