Page 103 of It's Complicated

“Stop apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, some of my faculties coming back.

“I made you freak out and think I was trying to break up with you when I was trying to find a way to tell you that I want us to be boyfriends. I’d say that warrants an apology.”

“You want to be boyfriends?” I asked, shock and relief sweeping through me in equal measure.

Isaac didn’t want to break up with me. Now that I knew that for sure, I could finally concentrate on this messy and confusing conversation.

He blew out another breath and closed his eyes. “I had a whole thing prepared, but I can’t think straight, and I’m fucking it up.”

“Z.” I gripped his arms and gave them a squeeze. “You’re not fucking anything up. But I might fuck you up if you don’t explain the whole being boyfriends thing. Just saying.”

He huffed out a strained laugh. “That wasn’t how I was planning on saying it, any of this.”

I took his hands in mine and stroked my thumbs over the soft skin on the backs of them, giving him a chance to gather his thoughts.

“But I’ve been doing some thinking.” He squeezed my hands gently. “And I don’t want to give this up. I can’t.” He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. “I don’t know what I am—if I’m bi or bi-curious or even just Jamiesexual.”

I bit my inner cheek but couldn’t stop my smile.

“And I realized it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to label this—or myself. I want you, and I want to be with you. But I don’t want it to be like this. I’m tired of hiding how I feel about you when we’re around other people. I hate having to pretend like we’re just friends outside the apartment, and Ihatethat I spend all my time worrying about what people will think if I touch you or look at you too long or, god forbid, kiss you.”

He paused and blew out another shaky breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I want to be with you properly, and anyone who has issues with it can take a long walk off a short pier.”

“A long walk off a short pier?” I teased.

He shrugged, his lips curling up in a smile. “Or fuck themselves with a cactus, whichever they prefer.”

I laughed and squeezed his hands so tight my fingers cracked, joy and elation filling me and spinning out into every part of my being.

“That was a really long-winded way of saying you love me,” I teased.

“Shut up,” he said on a chuckle, yanking me against him hard enough our chests crashed together. “I’m trying to be romantic here.”

“Z?” I pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

“Hmmmm?” he asked when I pulled back.

“I love you. I want to be boyfriends too.”

His smile was so wide and bright it made my heart do a skittering beat.

I wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of our lives, but more than that, I wanted to be the reason he smiled like that.

“Isn’t this the part where you say something?” I prompted with a smile.

“Right!” He huffed out another little laugh, his eyes alight with happiness and humor. “I mean, I thought all that babbling was crystal clear myself, but if you need me to spell it out for you…”

“Spell it out for me, asshole.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight.

Our faces were only inches apart, and I had to stop myself from kissing him and forgetting all about talking.

“I’m so in love with you, Jamie,” he said, as serious as I’d ever seen him. “It scares me how much I love you. I never thought I’d love anyone, didn’t think I was even capable of it, but you’re…you’re everything.”

I covered his mouth with mine and slotted our lips together, needing to kiss him.

He kissed me back but wrenched his mouth from mine a moment later. “Wait, there’s one more thing I need to say.”

“What’s that?”

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