Page 97 of Mine

I flinched from her choice of words.

“Mom, don’t,” I sighed.

“Your mom says his pictures online don’t do him justice and that Valencia is absolutely gorgeous,” Helen said, as the waitress came to us.

Since this was our most frequent lunch spot, we knew what we all wanted. I was glad for the break in conversation because I didn’t need to talk to my moms about fucking two people. The waitress left and I wasn’t safe again.

“So, are you in a relationship with them?” Helen asked, and I should have known better.

“Mom, can we not do this?—”

“Oh, honey we have to,” Helena grinned. “You robbed us of being able to do this for a long time; let us bask in the teasing and questions.

“I…” I looked away not knowing what to say.

“What happened, sweetheart?” My mom grabbed my hand.

“I probably fucked it up,” I said, trying to decide how much information to give them. “I pushed them away when I should have been holding on tightly.”

Helen grabbed my other hand. “Love is complicated, and there are many different ways to get to it, but what matters is that you all get there together.”

“I don’t think this is love,” I lied to them and myself.

“When have you ever felt like this?” My mom asked.

“Never.” I clenched my jaw.

“Have you tried apologizing?” Helen asked.

“I’m going to go see him after this, but Valencia hasn’t responded to a text a few days ago and her cell is off,” I said, pulling away from them. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she got tired of our shit and decided that she was done.”

“Don’t make assumptions,” my mom chastised me. “Do you know where she lives?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there once to pick her up,” I said, as the waitress left our drinks.

“Go see her and bring something you know she wants. Flowers are great, but I think bringing her a thoughtful gift makes it just a little better,” Helen said, looking at my mom like she knew what she was talking about.

“Ok, I’ll think about that,” I said, craving what my mom had.

Helen and she were perfect together, and while I knew they probably had their struggles, they always seemed to have their shit together. They are what I always thought love looked like.

“Just tell them how you feel,” my mom said, grabbing my hand again. “The way they looked at you, I don’t think that is something that goes away with time. They cared and I think you’ve been too blind to see that.”

I scowled, looking away, wondering how they knew all of this. and they weren’t even in our relationship.

“That’s easier said than done,” I sighed.

“Are they worth it?” Helen asked. “Would you fight for them?”

“Yes,” I said, as our food arrived.

“Then you have to tell them how you feel, and if that's still too scary, maybe you don’t care for them as much as you think you do,” my mom said, hitting me with a bigger truth that I didn’t want to face.

I was about to take a spoonful of my soup when my phone rang. I immediately pulled it out of my pocket, relief hitting me that it might not be over. Disappointment hit me when I noticed it was just my agent.

“Just tell them, honey, because that look on your face is breaking my heart,” my mom said, as my phone stopped ringing.

It immediately started ringing again and I answered my agent.

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