Page 59 of Theirs

Genevieve

Guilt ate me alive the next week after seeing Camila and Luke. I had failed them and I hated myself for it. This was the first time I had been so careless, and it was because my feelings had gotten involved. I was so wrapped up in the contract, if they would say yes or what I would do if they said no. That carelessness probably cost me a chance at our contract.

They called two days after seeing me and let me know that they would have to decline the contract. Luke sounded very matter of fact and nothing like the man I had gotten to know. He was cold in his responses and my guilt became amplified even more.

We didn’t talk much, but he did say they would contact me if they were interested in another night with me. Camila said she was sorry and if I had to guess, it sounded like she had more to say, but decided against it.

I missed them. It had only been a week, and I wanted to be near them, even if it was just being friends. They had so unapologetically burrowed themselves in my life that nothing felt the same anymore. I wasn’t just living in shades of gray but in technicolor, even if it had been for only a short time. Thisoddly felt like a break-up and if this is what that felt like, I didn’t want to feel this ever again.

My phone rang and I shot off of my sofa looking for it. It was vibrating on the kitchen counter. When Camila’s name popped up, I lost all train of thought, but knew only that I needed to answer.

“Hello,” I said as normally as I could.

“Genevieve?”

God, it was so good to hear her voice.

“Hello, Camila,” I said, a little piece of me relaxing.

“How are you?” She sounded unsure of herself.

“I’m…” Awful, guilty, embarrassed, I miss you. “I’m good and you?”

I lied because there was still a part of me that felt like I needed to protect myself or maybe I needed to be honest with her and she would take pity on me. I didn’t want a pity relationship, but I missed them so much, even that sounded appealing.

“I’m ok,” said softly. “Actually, I don’t like how we left things, it's been bothering me and Luke. Well, he won’t say it, but I know it does.”

My shoulders sagged, “I didn’t like it either, but I didn’t think it was ok for me to reach out.”

“I’m sorry, that entire conversation was so awful, Luke and I were raw from our conversation,” she sighed. “It was the first disagreement we had had in a while, and we should have waited to talk to you until we were feeling better.”

“There was no reason to argue about me. Your marriage comes first,” I said, knowing that was the truth. They had come so far, and I wanted them to have a success story when they were in their eighties. “I already had my reservations about ruining the good progress you all have had.”

Even though that logic hurt, I was being sincere that I wanted them to do whatever was best for their marriage. They had made a commitment long before me and they needed to work on that.

“Our marriage was the best it's ever been while we were seeing you,” she said. “We were communicating better, our sex life was incredible and I don’t think I had ever felt closer to Luke before. This life you showed us brought us closer together.”

Her words soothed a part of me that was feeling rejected.

“Then what happened?’ I didn’t know if I wanted to hear this, but I needed it.

“I don't know,” she sighed frustrated. “He said he didn’t think it was a good idea and that maybe exploring this part of himself hadn’t been a good idea.”

Guilt slapped me in the face.

“Was it because I didn’t take care of him, right?” I managed to get the words out.

“What do you mean? You always took care of us,” she said confused.

“I told you, I failed you,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I should have never let you guys leave. It was irresponsible of me and I’m so sorry.”

“Genevieve,” she scolded. “You can’t possibly think this is your fault.”

“Of course I do,” I said immediately.

“Evie, that was an accident and there is no way he?—”

“Did he tell you that?” I interrupted her, trying to ignore the nickname that made my heart flutter.

---