Page 160 of Pucking Obsessed

The moment of genuine connection is lost.

Heine pushes himself off the bed, running his hand with a look of longing over the wooden pillory.

Then he looks down at me, biting his lip. “What does it feel like to be loved?”

I blink. “What?”

Is this another game? Ploy for sympathy? Manipulation?

Yet he hasn’t asked: What does it feel like to beinlove?

Instead,to be loved.

Before Robyn and Shay, I’d have asked the same question.

I had never been in a genuine relationship before. I loved Robyn since college, but she’d chosen to marry Wilder.

I never trusted myself in another relationship.

Sex isn’t emotional.

It’s not love.

My sister may love me. I’m not sure. She was at least in my corner enough to save me from the discipline school.

Yet she was much older than me. Growing up, we weren’t close.

On the other hand, as a kid, I was loved by my parents, even if it turned out not to be real.

Heine doesn’t have a mom, however, and his dad is a fucking monster.

Has anyone loved the little shit?

My chest tightens. “Why?”

Heine lets out a frustrated breath. “It looked nice. I mean, the way that your two pets were looking up at you in the wood, it was like they loved you. It must feel incredible to be adored.”

I often wondered if Heine was naturally a dominant. It’s why he needs to be in control and tries to run scenes.

Perhaps, he’s only looking for a dominant because he doesn’t understand that he can be safe without one.

He’s a complex man.

“It’s the best feeling in the world,” I reply, carefully. “But only if you know that you deserve it. Then it’s real. Part of that is putting their needs first. Do you understand why you can’t hurt my pets?”

Heine looks unusually serious. “I won’t.”

My eyes close in relief.

I take a steadying breath, before steeling myself. Then with all my strength, I drag myself to the edge of the bed. My muscles are trembling, but I manage it.

I’m regaining my strength.

Excellent.

Heine strolls to stand in front of me. “How are you feeling, Sir?”

I try to hide my wince on theSir. “Thirsty.”

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