Page 60 of Playoff

“You can barely grow a beard,” Canyon teases him. “I don’t know if we can call you aman…”

“Hey!” Connor flings the tape in Canyon’s direction, but he ducks, and it hits Evan instead.

“What did I do?” he demands, putting the tape on the shelf behind him and effectively ending the game.

We all continue giving Bodi shit for a few minutes and finally conversation moves on.

“You talk to your parents since the other night?” Bodi asks me.

“I talked to my mom and sister, said goodbye in the lobby the morning of their flight home, but I haven’t spoken to him at all.”

“He’s really something. I don’t know how you grew up with a dad like that. My dad is always proud of me, no matter how shitty I play.”

“You’d think parents would feel that way, but I guess not all of them do.”

“Well, you deserve better. You need to set some boundaries or something.”

“Oh, I’m done with him,” I say. “I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. If he wants to man up and apologize, we can talk, but until then, I’m one thousand percent done.”

“Best way you can show him how wrong he is,” Canyon interjects, “is to play your ass off out there.”

“That’s what I intend to do. So if any of you fuckers have the opportunity to pass me the puck, do it. I want a natural hat trick tonight.” I grin at them and everyone starts to hoot and whistle.

“Hat trick it is!” Gabe calls out. “You get one, drinks are on me after the game.”

“Let’s do this!” Canyon stands up and looks around. “Are we ending this series tonight?”

Everyone is on their feet, bumping fists and building on the energy in the room.

Honestly, I want to win the series whether I get any goals or not.

I want to show my dad that I’m more than the loser he thinks I am.

And I absolutely want another opportunity to get naked with Rowan.

But mostly I want to be part of this team and show them this is where I belong.

That I’m worthy.

I know my dad has gotten in my head, but I’ve known for a long time that I fucked up. In college, and then in my early years in the minors. I was so used to being the big man on campus, I stopped trying, and of course, as soon as I stopped trying, I stopped being the big man.

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, and I fucked up so many things in my life.

From my personal life to my career to my relationship with my father. Well, he fucked that up himself, but I allowed it.

In some way, I still am.

We don’t see each other often, but when we do, he manages to make me feel like shit. About hockey, about my future, and most of all, about myself.

Seeing Rowan again, and spending time with her, has reminded me that I used to be someone else. Someone with hopes and dreams and…confidence. Something I’ve been lacking the last few years.

If there’s any chance at all of getting it back, I have to play the best damn hockey of my life.

“Rourke. Hayes. I want you on the first line with Marks tonight,” Assistant Coach Danvers says, walking around with a clipboard.

He goes through a handful of line changes and then it’s time to head out to the ice.

As I get into the hallway, I catch a glimpse of Rowan, and we exchange a quick but meaningful glance. No matter what happens, I know she has my back.

---