Page 23 of Playoff

“The only thing I can say is that I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. I’m not just saying that. There is a reason Blake is back in your life. Maybe it’s to show you that you’ve truly moved on. Maybe it’s to show you that you haven’t. Maybe it’s something else. But he’s here and your options are to continue feeling weird around him, or to bury the hatchet and move on. Because no matter what you say, you haven’t. You seem to getannoyed every time you cross paths and that doesn’t happen unless you have feelings for someone.”

“I don’t have feelings for him!” I protest.

She shrugs, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “Oh, you have feelings, it’s just a matter of figuring out what they are. Love, hate, confusion, questions… Are there unresolved issues? You don’t have to tell me, but you need to think about it because you have to focus on your job, not on him.”

She has a point, as much as I hate to admit it.

“There probably are some questions and unresolved feelings,” I say after a moment. “We broke up but it was a light break-up… like a break. He went off to college and I wound up staying home, but we were going to talk when he came back for Christmas. Then I went up for a weekend to surprise him and… well, I caught him with another girl. Two of them.”

“So technically he didn’t cheat. You were on a break.”

“Yeah, but I was still so desperately in love with him. I can’t tell you how much it hurt.”

“I can imagine. But he didn’tcheat.”

“I guess not, but that’s one of those things that’s never been resolved. We didn’t talk about it. We literally never spoke again. I was a huge drama queen, made a scene at the party and dumped a drink on his head before I left. And we never talked again until he showed up in Anchorage.”

“Definitely issues to resolve.”

“I was bullied in middle school, and it was starting again in high school. Then I met Blake and everything changed. I became one of the cool kids because I was dating the captain of the hockey team. For a long time, all the mean girls whispered that he was going to dump me, because he was way out of my league. And one of the girls I caught him with that first semester of college was one of my tormentors in high school.”

“Jesus. Teenage boys are theworst. And I think he needs to acknowledge how shitty he was. For closure, if nothing else.”

“But what do I say? I mean, hey, you broke my heart ten years ago and sometimes it still really hurts?”

“Why not? What’s the worst thing that can happen? You clear the air? Maybe he apologizes? You get a few things off your chest? I’m still friends with my high school boyfriend. There’s no reason you can’t be friends.”

Isn’t there?

Is there any universe where Blake and I are actually…friends?

It feels impossible, but it shouldn’t be.

We’re adults, for heaven’s sake.

And maybe she’s right. A heart-to-heart conversation might make me feel better.

About a lot of things.

We walk the rest of the way in silence, and I smile over at her when we get on the elevator.

“Thanks for giving me something to think about.”

“No problem. Have a good night.”

She gets off on the floor before mine and I continue up to my room lost in thought.

I need ice, because my shoulder has been sore from all the extra work I’ve been doing, and then maybe I’ll knock on Blake’s door.

I go to my room, grab the ice bucket and head down the hall to fill it.

I’m just on my way back when I see him.

Standing in front of my door, about to knock.

“Hey,” I call out, my heart rate kicking up just a little.

“Hi.” He cocks his head. “You get ice every night? You okay?”

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