Page 45 of Knot the Alphas' Feral Omega

23

Oliver

When I walked down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, the house was silent, and every minute sound pricked my ears and irritated me.

The slight drop of water from one of the bathrooms on the main floor—annoying.

The slight rustle of trees behind the house—horrifying.

The sound of three distinct breathing patterns other than my own...

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes and soothing myself so my heart didn’t leap out of my chest at the thought of my packmates sleeping in Killian’s room. All three of them were sequestered in there, and to my understanding, they hadn’t come out again since Emmett had slipped in there once he had finally dragged me home earlier.

A tiny part of me had wanted to go in there, too, to make sure that Lilah was okay after her sudden shift and the way that she had attacked Killian—but I knew better. I knew that, at least in part, she’d had such a strong reaction to coming back to the house because of her proximity to me.

I had done this to her. It wasn’t the house’s fault. It wasmyfault.

Guilt swirled inside of me, and the urge to go up and fix this was strong—almost too strong for me to resist.

I filled my glass of water and then carried it upstairs again, listening for any clue that things were going wrong. And I had the best of intentions to go back to my room; I did. I had every intention of leaving Lilah, Killian, and Emmett alone so they could get some rest, and we could address the myriad of issues facing the pack tomorrow or the day after—whenever they were ready.

But my feet had a different idea, and instead of carrying me all the way down to the end of the hallway where my bedroom door was still ajar...I stopped in front of Killian’s door and reached out to lay my hand on the doorknob.

There, I paused. I listened. The breathing from behind the closed door was steady from all three sources. I even shifted my ears so I had the advantage of my wolf hearing to make sure...and I was almost one hundred percent positive that all three of them were asleep.

I twisted the handle and was only slightly surprised when it turned easily under my grip and opened for me.

I swallowed hard, my eyes adjusting to the dim light inside the room. The tiny lamp on Killian’s bedside was on, bathing the room in a soft, warm glow, starkly contrasting the pitch dark of the hallway and the rest of the house. Admittedly, it was nice that I didn’t have to squint to see what was happening inside the room, and I carefully looked around as I pushed the door open a little bit further.

Emmett was sprawled out on top of Killian’s bed, still dressed in the clothes I had last seen him in when we returned to the house. The fabric of his shirt and jeans were a little rumpled from how he was sleeping, and lines were pressed into his cheek where he’d been resting against the crumpled sheets.

On the floor, Killian was lying down next to a sleeping Lilah wolf, still fully dressed, his entire body radiating tension even as his chest steadily rose and fell with sleep. His cheek was resting on his upper arm, stretched out under his head. I winced slightly, knowing his arm would be completely numb by morning.

Somehow, I was sure he had considered that and chose to sleep on the floor the way he was, anyway. It was Killian, after all.

Lilah moved slightly as I looked in, and I swallowed hard when, even in her sleep, she let out a growl that ripped through the room. I stepped back, unable to force myself to walk away even as I looked in on this private moment between the three of my packmates, sleeping and safe in their little bubble.

I was intruding. I was making Lilah feel unsafe. But...

Fuck, I just needed to make sure that I hadn’t fucked up irreparably here.

Killian lifted his head and reached out to gently touch Lilah’s flank, the wound on his hand stark even in the dim light of the room. He mumbled soothingly, nonsensically, and Lilah calmed down after a second, though she still let out little rumbles of omega growl with every breath she puffed out.

I knew it was because she had caught my scent, even in her sleep. She was clearly so, so sensitive to it—to me.

My stomach swooped out from underneath me, and I took one last look into the room before I gently pulled the door closed again. My heart pounding in my chest, I finally turned on my heel and walked back to my room, closing the door behind me and slumping back against the wood heavily.

My hand shook as I set my glass of water on the bookshelf next to the door, and I closed my eyes, running my hands through my hair and ignoring the sick twist of my stomach.

I could still smell Lilah’s scent in the air, even though she was all the way down the hallway. The ghost of her presence lingered, reminding me of my mistake, of how badly I had failed this pack with my hasty decision, my trauma response.

I didn’t know how I was going to fix this. Emmett had told me that he thought it would be good for me to be around, but seeing Lilah’s visceral response to my presence, even when she was shifted and asleep and wholly unaware that I was around...I wasn’t so sure.

I wanted to ask Killian what he thought, considering he had been, and still was, the closest to Lilah out of all of us. But I wasn’t sure if we were on speaking terms yet, especially after Lilah’s violent response once we got home.

I blew out a breath, allowing myself a moment to pity myself and the clusterfuck that I had created. Then I closed my eyes, calming myself, and picked up my glass of water again as I headed back to bed.

I wasn’t sure what was ahead, and I honestly didn’t know whether my presence would be helpful or not. But if I knew anything, it was that my pack wouldn’t forgive me if I up and left for good...so I would have to figure out another solution. Maybe I would leave temporarily or just sequester myself in my room or something...

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