Page 51 of Dangerously Yours

“Every time I’ve seen you since you’ve been discharged, you’re drinking. I know that you might not want to talk to this Bozo...” he paused to point toward Daxon, then quickly continued. “But I think you need to talk to someone.”

“I don’t need counseling,” I said, and the others stayed quiet. I could see the concern on their faces, especially when I slammed back the second shot.

“Nicole thought the same thing after her trauma, but she has truly benefited from it,” Cal replied.

“And Harper, too. The things that girl went through...”

When Gabriel’s voice trailed off, I knew he was right. Harper had shared some of her past with us, especially me and Charlie since we were all close friends growing up. Her uncle and cousin had been horrible to her, and Nicole had fared badly herself when another student developed an unhealthy obsession with her.

“It’s not the same,” I said. “Gabe might have lost his mind for a while, and Cal his job, but both have gotten those things back, but not me. It hurts like hell to see my team out there struggling without me, and knowing there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. It’s driving me fucking insane, but I need to keep pushing through this because I refuse to accept that this is the end of my playing career.”

“But it is,” Callum solemnly noted.

I shook my head vehemently. “No, it is not.”

“I know what you’re going through, Noah. If you remember, I was supposed to join you at Ohio State, but we all know what happened on graduation night.”

Our friend had gone out of his mind and left a party where he had been drinking heavily. Not long after, he had wrapped his brand new Lamborghini around a telephone pole. He, too, had significant injuries and like me, he was also lucky enough to have walked away from the crash at all. If any of these men wouldunderstand what I was going through, it would be him, but I couldn’t take the same advice I had given him in the hospital afterward.

“Sure it sucks that you can’t play anymore, but you’re going to do some great things in life.”

I had meant it when I had said it to him, but I was struggling to apply it to my own life. Football had been all I had ever wanted to do, and now it had been viciously taken away from me in the blink of an eye. Others went through the same things as me everyday, but I selfishly was only thinking about myself. It was likely the reason I had been wallowing in my own self-pity since being discharged.

“Even if you’re not sure whether this is what you might want to do next, why don’t you at least come on for a guest segment or two. Others that have season-ending injuries do it all the time,” Gabriel told me.

I knew he was right, but... “If I do that, then I am admitting to myself that my playing career is over.”

“It is over, Noah. You have to accept it and find a way to move on or else it is going to eat you alive,” Callum seconded.

“It’s all I ever wanted to?—”

“Fourth and goal and only seconds on the clock. Seaton takes it from the nine yard line, and he makes a man miss. Easy score, and his team’s on top fourteen to seven heading into the half,” the broadcaster said, and we all turned to watch our friend.

When Romeo scored the touchdown, he abandoned his own usual celebration, and instead did mine. After, he pounded his chest in the exact same spot where I had been shot. I knew hehad done it for me, and the others did, too. Daxon clapped me on the back, and Gabe and Cal both fist-bumped me. The players then were filing off the field, and one of the sideline reporters stopped to talk to Romeo.

“Your last celebration, was there something different behind it?”

“Absolutely,” Romeo replied. “My brother, Noah, couldn’t be out here with me physically, but I know he’s here in spirit.”

“Speaking of your former quarterback, how has the transition been to Joe Robbins after playing your entire career with Noah?”

“Man, Joe is a dog, but Noah, he’s my brother.” He then looked into the camera directly. “I know you’re watching man, and I just want you to know that I’m dedicating this entire season to you. We all are. Heal up, my friend. I can’t wait to see you one day pacing along the sidelines.”

One of the slot receivers stopped, said something to Romeo, then the two headed to the locker room. I drank the third shot I had poured earlier, then leaned back in my chair. It hit me in that moment that I had been afraid the team would forget me. Out of sight, out of mind. These guys though, much like the ones sitting in my theater room, were my brothers. They put their bodies on the line for me, play after play, much like I had put mine on the line for the woman I love. My playing career might be over, but what I very easily could have lost would have been something I never could get back. I closed my eyes and realized that while I might not have blamed her for any of this, I had been acting differently toward her, and it filled me with shame.

I wanted to send the guys home then have Lulu come over, but a few hours wouldn’t make a difference. The danger to her was off the street, and we had our entire lives to talk. I had been stuck inself-loathing, but I was now seeing all the things I still had in this life, which included friends and the love of a damn good woman. I reopened my eyes and looked over at Gabriel.

“Hey, reach out to ESPN and set up one of those guest spots.”

Daxon patted my leg as if to tell me that he was proud of me, then Callum handed over the box of pizza. I hadn’t even heard the doorbell, but he had. When we all had a slice in our hand, the game came back on, and this time, we started the third quarter getting a turnover. After the interception, Romeo did what he does best, and it wasn’t long before the four of us were celebrating his next score right along with him.

LULU

It had been over a month since Cade was arrested, and thankfully, he hadn’t been able to use his influence and power to buy his way out of a jail cell. Rotting away was exactly what he deserved, and it was what I hoped he would do. The man he became was not one I had ever recognized during our fifteen years of marriage. He had once been doting, and I honestly thought he would protect me from anything.

Little did I know that the one I needed protecting from was him. It was a lesson I had learned too late in life, and one that Noah nearly paid the price for because of me. Those regrets stayed with me, never truly leaving, but I made sure not to voice them aloud to Noah anymore. He was dealing with enough stress from everything, and I didn’t want to pile onto it.

Things were much different with us, though. Sometimes, they were worse than I ever thought they would be, while also being the same on other occasions. He wasn’t bad, but knowing how much pain he was in from not being able to play the sport he loved anymore was a hard pill for me to swallow. I wanted to make things better, but it was out of my hands. Right nowthough, as I lay in his arms, this was more than I could have ever prayed for the day he had gotten shot. Currently, the children were with Cade’s sister, who despite her love for her brother, adored her nieces and nephew. I would never keep them from her as long as she didn’t try to poison their still impressionable minds like their father had tried to do.

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