“Now’s not the right moment, Sam. As much as I’d love to take you to that bed over there and show you all I know, we don’t have time.”
He tilted his head to the side, his eyelids drooping as he gave me more space to touch. “Sure about that? We could make it fast?”
I reached down to palm my cock, noting Sam’s smirk. “I’m sure. Trust me, there will be nothing fast about our first time together. If I hadn’t told Nate we’d be in his office soon, I’d be game.”
Sam trailed his fingers lightly down my chest, stopping a few inches above my waistband. “Surely Nate won’t mind if we blow him off?”
“Sam,” I groaned, my head falling backwards as I closed my eyes. Maybe if I didn’t look at him, I could resist him. “Fuck, you’re too damn tempting for your own good. I’m trying to behave here.”
I didn’t know if it was how fast his hand dropped, or perhaps the subtle shift in his breathing, but I knew I’d made a mistake before he even spoke.
My eyes flew open to find Sam’s shoulders pulled in, redness staining his cheeks. His fingers were tapping against each other in rapid succession.
“Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. You said no, and I should’ve respected that.”
I took a split second to think about how to handle this before going with my instincts. Sam was my mate, so surely whatever my instincts were telling me had to be the right path.
We were about to find out.
Sam made a small noise of surprise as I swept him off the floor and swung him around so his back was to the bed. Moving faster than I probably should have, I dropped him onto the bedspread before settling my body over his.
His lips parted in surprise as I boxed him in with my forearms. Making sure to hold my weight off of him, I spoke slowly so there was no chance of him missing what I was saying. “I didn’t say no, Sam, I said not now. Meaning I very much want you to touch me. All the time, in fact. As far as I’m concerned, my body is yours. Yours to do whatever you want with.”
Sam’s breaths were coming faster now, his eyes darker. “You’re a bit intense sometimes.”
Now that I’d definitely heard before. “Too much?”
“Hell no.” He lifted trembling hands to cup my face. “Your intensity shows me you care. Maybe it’s a little fucked up, but I’m a little fucked up. Maybe what I need is your crazy to balance out my crazy.”
“You’re not crazy,” I said firmly. “You have a mental illness, Sam. It’s an illness just like any other.”
“I know.” He smiled, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. “Dark humour as a coping mechanism, remember?”
“Just so long as you know that Idon’tthink you’re crazy.” I got where he was coming from, I did. But I needed him to know this. “You’re not your OCD, Sam. It’s part of you, but it doesn’tdefine you. I’m happy to joke with you about it as much as you want or need, just know that there’snothingwrong with you.”
“Thank you.” He raised his head to brush his lips over mine. “That means a lot to me. Especially the part where you don’t mind me joking about it. I figure I’ve got to put up with it, so I might as well look on the funny side of things.”
“I totally get it.”
His tongue flicked over his lower lip as he debated something. “But you definitely…You’re sure you want me? Physically, I mean? Because I’d totally understand if you didn’t, I just?—”
I cut him off by lowering my weight onto him fully. My erection hadn’t subsided even with what we’d been discussing. Having Sam under me, on a bed…there was no way that fucker was going down anytime soon. The way I wanted him, to do things to him. God, it was almost hard to control myself.
“You’re not listening to what my mouth is saying,” I said, letting my cock push against his abdomen, “so listen to what my body is saying. Does this feel like I don’t want you, Sam?”
“Oh,” he breathed. “Then why can’t we?—”
The outer door to my suite banged open. “You better not be late meeting me because you’re fucking. If I’m not getting laid then nobody is.”
I groaned, lowering my forehead against Sam’s. “That’s why. Because Nate is an impatient fucker at the best of times, and I didn’t want him bursting in.”
Sam started shaking, making me whip my head up in alarm. That faded when I saw he was laughing silently. “You’re right—they are interfering.”
At least Nate hadn’t been stupid enough to come into Sam’s bedroom. Mind you, I wouldn’t put it past him. He loved to test my limits as much as Theo, he was just more subtle about it.
“Come on.” I got to my feet, extending a hand to Sam to help him up. “Let’s take your laptop to him before he really tests my boundaries.”
19