Page 37 of Devoted

“Want to game later?”

My earlier thoughts drifted back into my mind. “Actually, I’m going to do something else. I think I’m going to invite someone over.”

“Like a friend?”

Why did that question have me squirming? I didn’t have anything to feel guilty or ashamed about. “More like a hookup.”

His silence had my brow furrowing. “Zeke? You there?”

“I’m here.” His reply was quieter than usual. Darker. “Is that something you do often?”

“Not really. But I have a healthy sex drive, and sometimes I need someone to scratch the itch for me.”

Another long silence.

“What about your OCD?”

“That’s why it’ll be with someone I know and trust. Plus, they’re happy to come here. If I’m in my own space, it’s easier to manage my triggers.”

“I don’t…I don’t know what to say.”

I stiffened. “Should I not have told you?”

“No, I’m glad you did.” He sighed. “It’s just made it all real, you know? If I don’t make you mine, then someone else will.”

My heart was hammering in my chest. “I didn’t realise that option was on the table.”

“It’s not,” he said hollowly. “But fuck, Sam. I’m a possessive motherfucker. You might not be mine, but you feel like you are.”

You feel like you are.

I closed my eyes. “Zeke, please. Don’t.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He paused. “And I imagine I can’t ask you not to reach out to whoever the fuck this bloke is either.”

For the first time in all my conversations with Zeke, anger began to prick at me. “No. You can’t. Stop doing this, Zeke. My mind is already fucked up enough, I don’t need you playing with it too. You either want more with me, or you don’t.”

“I’m sorry. Believe me, messing you around is the last thing I want to do. Can you…can you give me a few days to sort some stuff out?”

I swallowed hard. I shouldn’t. The red flags Zeke was waving were impossible to ignore. Then again, I’d lived my life avoiding risks and danger. Maybe it was time to do something different. To choose a different path.

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” The relief radiated through the phone. “I appreciate it, Sam.”

“I won’t reach out to Jude,” I found myself saying. To be honest, the idea hadn’t held much appeal. It was more something I thought I should do, rather than something I wanted to do. “But be warned, my mood is bound to get shittier until someone gets me off.”

“Does it have to be in person?”

I frowned. “Huh?”

“Like, if I called you back in a few hours and talked you through it, told you what to do, would that work?”

So much blood went to my cock that I legit felt dizzy for a second. I pressed my hand against my erection. Obviously my dick was on board with the idea.

The question was, was the rest of me?

“Umm…yeah. That’d work.”

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