Page 33 of Devoted

Hope bubbled up in my throat, but I swallowed it down. “I don’t think that’s how it works. From what Micah said, he literally couldn’t stay away. Nox couldn’t either. I just…I can’t see how my mate could be living so close and I’d have no idea about it.”

Rami rubbed a hand over his chin. “I don’t want to say you’re probably right, but…”

His voice trailed off, leaving me to finish it. “But I probably am.”

“Shit.” Rami shook his head. “First bloke to capture your attention in, well, ever, and he’s not your mate? That’s fucking rotten luck.”

“It’s what I deserve.”

“What do you mean by that?”

I raised my brows at Rami. “Come on. You know better than anyone how difficult I am to be around. This is karma’s way of getting back at me for a couple of millennia of being a dick.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” Rami kicked me none too gently under the table, making me glare at him in return. “So you’re a bit grumpy. You’re also protective. You have a temper? Yes, but that’s because you feel things so deeply. You scowl more often than not, but so what? At least you’re honest about how you’re feeling, rather than masking it behind a fake smile like everyone else does.”

I continued to glare at Rami, but it did nothing to deter him. “You can be a dick at times, but you’d never let anyone down. You’ve cooked dinner for the entire unit for centuries, never letting their bitching and complaining stop you. More than that, you’re the one we can count on to drop everything if something is bothering us. You might not know how to help, but it never stops you trying.”

My glare had been replaced by a look of shock. Was that really how he saw me?

“None of us are perfect,” Rami said bluntly. “But that doesn’t mean we’re not worthy of love. If you think that person is Sam, then I say go for it. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t.”

I snorted. “And why do that when I have you to do it for me.”

“Exactly.” Rami flashed me a blinding smile, his dark skin gleaming under the overhead lights. “I’m serious though—if you’re this cut up about Sam, you should explore it.”

I rubbed at my chest, hating the uncertainty clouding me. “What if he’s not my mate?”

Rami shrugged. “What if he is?”

7

Sam

Going from talking to Zeke on the app to over messenger shouldn’t have changed anything.

But it had.

Now I didn’t need to log in to see if he was online. I could just message him while I was going about my day. Send him little updates and delight in whatever stream of questions it inevitably set off.

It was a heady feeling, being wanted. I wasn’t sure I’d ever experienced it before. Not like this, anyway. Zeke never seemed to tire of me.

Then again, it wasn’t like he’d met me in real life. I had to keep reminding myself that that was why this worked. That if we stepped out from behind our screens, Zeke would be confronted with the reality of me. The reality of my life.

He’d tire of me then.

Still, I couldn’t help but wish things could be different. That my brain was normal. That I could suggest a meet up with Zeke to see if our chemistry was as potent in real life as it was online.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

My phone was flat on my chest, Zeke’s voice rumbling over the speaker. For the past few nights, this was how we’d endedthem. Despite talking to each other all day, one of us would find an excuse for a phone call before bed.

I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, wishing there was a script up there for me to follow. “I’m thinking…I’m thinking this is too easy.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” I said slowly. “But it makes me want to do things I can’t.”

Zeke paused. “What things, Sam?”

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