Page 27 of Devoted

that’s because you only know me through the filter of the screen

some days, I’m fine as a housemate. I’ll cook dinner. Clean up after myself. Be considerate of everyone else’s space. Have a laugh and generally be a fun person to be around.

Zeke

and on other days?

on those days, I’m irrational. There’s no predicting how it’ll affect me. I’ll check every lock in the house at least three times. Take twenty minutes putting my shoes on over and over again. Hide all the knives and power tools. Wash my clothes three times instead of once. Scrub my hands until my knuckles are red raw. Stack the rubbish on the side because I can’t bear to touch the bin.

I thought about not continuing before figuring, fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Sam

I don’t just have OCD. I also have generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder and sensory processing disorder.

basically, I’m a bundle of fun

Zeke

I can imagine. at least you’re doing it properly. Why have just one illness when you can have them all?

His reaction caught me off guard. It was so similar to what I’d usually say that I couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped me.

Zeke

fuck, was that inappropriate? Sorry, my humour is dark at the best of times.

Sam

no, it’s fine. it made me laugh. We have the same sense of humour.

in that case, can you lend it to me more often? Apparently I’m too grumpy to be around.

well, I could, but then I’d be grumpy

true.

in all seriousness though, I can see why those things bother you, but not how it’d bother others

surely you could find housemates who were understanding and supportive of your mental health needs?

if they exist, I certainly haven’t found them

but it’s fine. It means I can’t afford to live in a nice place or a nice area, but I make do

you live in a safe area though, right?

My mind drifted back to the stranger in my bed, and the recent reports of break-ins on the news.

Sam

it’s safe enough

I have deadbolts on all the doors

Zeke

okay that’s not helping

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